


Bulletproof

by stubbornshrub



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, Fix-It, Hurt Kara Danvers, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kryptonite, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23221120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stubbornshrub/pseuds/stubbornshrub
Summary: No-one remembers the world before crisis - no-one but the paragons and the select few with restored memories of the multiverse. Yet somehow, some others remember a red wave and have lost their minds at the knowledge. With Kara and Lena still at odds post-crisis, what will it take to fix their strained relationship and get to the bottom of the mystery?OR5B/ Post-Crisis (Exception: 100th episode included) fix it, Kara and Lena finally get to talk like actual people
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 99
Kudos: 362





	1. The Heroes of National City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's on the to-do list to re-work this chapter a little - I feel it is a little rushed, as it was my first time writing in a while! It could do with some improvements, but I'm glad the quality improves through later chapters. Thanks for your patience!

“What can I say about the Luthor family that hasn’t already been said?”

It was a clear, bright day in National City. Beautiful, really. The sun was warming, without scorching, and clouds were exiled from an azure sky; a pleasant breeze wafted across the waterfront. Kara glanced at the veiled statue ahead of her and wished her powers included the ability to summon rain.

Ahead of her, the mayor continued to wax lyrical about the contributions of the Luthor family to the prosperity of National City. Today marked the unveiling of a statue commemorating Lex, Lillian, and Lena, and their philanthropic efforts through the L-Corp – _Luthor_ Corp, Kara remembered with disgust – foundation. She had been assigned to cover the event by Andréa, who remained as persistent as ever in her efforts to ensure that Kara never had the chance to undertake any serious journalism. To make matters worse, this monument to Lex’s ego shared harbor real estate with the statue of Supergirl that had previously been a matter of personal pride; it now would serve as a reminder of Lex’s ability to usurp even the destruction of the multiverse for his own selfish reasons.

“For their work serving the city, there is no more fitting tribute than to immortalize their efforts next to their biggest champion. Now,” the mayor paused for dramatic flair, “without any further ado: thank you to the Luthor family!”

The audience applauded as the cloth covering slithered to the ground, revealing three metallic figures gleaming in the afternoon sun. Lex was front and center, sporting an easy smile that belied his devious and menacing nature. He was flanked on his left by his enigmatic mother, her hair pulled back into an imposing bun behind her head. His sister stood to his right, the metal adding a coldness to her familiar features. Kara looked at the depiction of Lena. Of all of them, Lena was the only one to work for the betterment of others in any reality. She had often been the unsung hero when threats faced the city; she was deserving of the recognition, of that Kara was sure. It was just jarring to see her recognized alongside her villainous family members.

“I am now delighted to introduce Lena Luthor, who has a few words.”

Kara’s heart started beating more rapidly. She had not been informed that Lena would be attending the unveiling herself. This was _not_ in the brief. The two hadn’t been this close since the aftermath of the crisis, and Lena hadn’t seen Kara _as Kara_ since well before their confrontation in the Fortress of Solitude. Lena reached the podium after a few short strides. A politician’s smile was plastered to her face, but Kara was sad to see that the smile never reached her eyes. She doubted anyone else noticed.

“Thank you all for being here today.” Lena’s gaze swept the crowd as if attempting to thank everyone individually with a look. For a paralyzing moment, Kara met Lena’s roving eyes before the CEO pointedly looked away. “I am honored and humbled for myself and my family to be recognized with such a lasting monument,” she continued. “Since moving our headquarters to National City some years ago, we have tried to use the Luthor name to—”

“ _There is no such thing as a good Luthor.”_

The words were spat with such venom, and the crowd parted to expose the man responsible. He might have been tall, once, but his shoulders were hunched as if an invisible weight pushed down on him from above. His dark hair was matted with sweat and his suit was disheveled, his errant tie clinging by a whisker to his neck. His eyes darted madly between the crowd and the stage, and his right hand clenched and unclenched uncontrollably as if he were trying to capture the air. Kara began to surreptitiously edge out of the press section, angling for a gap behind the distracted reporters that would allow her to speed into her suit undetected.

“There is _n_ _o such thing as a good Luthor!_ This is not how it should be! Does no-one remember the red flash, the oblivion, the _nothingness_?” He was screaming now with hysterical fervor. “This is all _your fault_! _”_

His hand plunged into his jacket, and with almost impossible speed it emerged with a handgun pointed directly at Lena. The air cracked with sound of gunshots and time appeared to stand still, before a blue blur flashed in front of the frozen Luthor; the bullets collided with Supergirl’s chest and fell harmlessly to the ground with a delicate tinkle. Dark-suited security officers, finally forcing a route through the crush, tackled the assailant to the ground. The attacker hit the concrete still madly spouting obscenities, screeching about a wave of red and an exodus that left millions behind. Noting that he was no longer an imminent threat - and trying for a moment to ignore the profound unease she felt hearing a civilian remember the death of the multiverse - Kara slowly turned to face Lena.

“Are you okay?”, she queried.

“I’m not bleeding out on stage,” Lena replied, with a mix of fear and relief in her eyes, “so I suppose it could be worse.” She hesitated for a moment, then her emotionless mask slid over her features. “Thank you, Supergirl.”

Kara inwardly winced at the speed at which Lena had thrown up her walls. She looked around and observed that they were alone on the platform, and well away from any prying ears. “My name is Kara, Lena. I’m still Kara.” Her voice filled with concern. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“I’m used to threats on my life, Supergirl,” Lena responded icily. “I appreciate you saving me – but we aren’t friends. How I am is none of your concern. And as for Kara…Kara Danvers isn’t real.” With that parting blow, she turned on her heels and left to discuss the proceedings with the mayor. Kara felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She tore into the sky before any of the remaining photographers could capture that the girl of steel could cry.


	2. Frustrations

As a matter of personal safety for the human staff of the DEO, no one enters the training room while Supergirl was training. This fact was a blessing today, as Kara was feeling less like training and more like punching things. Hard. It wouldn’t do for the employees to see Supergirl lose her patience.

The current victim was a concrete monolith, affixed to the reinforced ceiling with a thick chain. Kara didn’t bank on its longevity as a training tool. It bobbed back and forth as it connected with her fists, dancing haphazardly on its tether with each blow. _Right. Left. Right._ Pounding her frustrations into the rock. Since before the crisis, she hadn’t had space to breathe. She had lost Lena. Lena had stolen Myriad. She had lost her way, although in this universe it was like it had never happened in the first place. She remembered seeing Argo be overtaken by a wave of red, losing her planet all over again. Argo was once again safely in space, but the pain, the _hopelessness_ Kara had felt in losing the last bastion of Krypton still ached in her chest. She had seen everyone she loved die. Oliver had given his life to ensure the creation of this new universe, but it still didn’t feel right no matter how hard she tried. Lex had, after all, re-written reality to make himself the hero, and now who knows what his plans were?

And Lena still wouldn’t even _talk_ to her.

Dust and chips of concrete flew into the air with every strike.

“Hey, Supergirl?”

Alex’s voice over comms was gentle. Her sister’s memories of the previous universe had been restored, but she hadn’t been there to remember what the paragons endured at the end. Or was it the beginning? Still, she had been Kara’s rock, listening with a patient ear whenever everything became too overwhelming. Kara stepped back from the block with a slow exhale before pressing the commlink in her ear.

“I’m in the training room. What’s up?”

“We need you in the command center. I’ve had an update from an NCPD contact about the guy they took into custody this morning,” Alex explained. “I think you should hear this.”

“Ok. I’ll be right there.”

Disconnected from comms, Kara turned back to face the concrete block that had been the subject of her frustrations. She took a deep breath and drove her first through the center of her makeshift punching bag. The block shattered as fragments exploded into the air, settling down into an untidy puddle of debris on the cold floor. She carefully stepped over the rubble, ignoring the clouds of dust puffing up at her footsteps, and marched out the door, slamming it shut with a crack behind her.

***

“Ryan Plummer, 32. Recruiter for a tech company. No previous criminal links, not so much as a parking ticket. No criminals in the family either. Spends his Saturdays at the soup kitchen on Bank Street. No links to the Luthors. No history of mental illness.” Alex dropped her tablet gently to the table. “There’s nothing to suggest he would decide one day to try and shoot National City’s leading lady – after Supergirl, of course,” she clarifies with a nod to her sister. “NCPD aren’t getting anything from him. But then, they don’t know that the crisis actually happened. Which leads us to the real question,” she stopped, hands on hips. “How does this _random guy_ know about the death of the multiverse?”

“It is also most curious,” contributed Brainy, stepping closer to the table, “that this fellow deems Lena Luthor the worthy recipient of his vitriolic diatribe, when her actions on the previous earth saved a great number of people. If he believes Miss Luthor to be the cause of the death on the previous earth then he is clearly,” Brainy paused, “misinformed.”

“Well he didn’t seem in his right mind, that’s for sure,” Supergirl chimed. “J’onn said collectively restoring memories could _literally_ blow peoples’ minds. Is it possible Ryan somehow had his memories restored and the knowledge just drove him mad?”

“It’s possible, but how would that have happened? We needed a Martian paragon to restore our memories, but the process didn’t make us insane,” Alex reasoned.

“Perhaps it was just a big cosmic accident.”

“Perhaps,” countered Brainy, “but his memories, however he retained them, are still factually incorrect.”

“So somehow,” Supergirl summarized, “someone regained memories of a dead world. And we have no idea how.” _Great,_ she thought. _Another problem to solve. Is Leviathan and Lex Luthor not enough on one plate?_

“Yes, I think that about covers—” Brainy was interrupted by the screeching of warning sirens accompanying an alert flashing red on the screen. “There appears to be an alien causing some havoc in Liberty Park. Supergirl?”

“I’m on it.”

She took off into the sky, leaving behind a gust of wind and unanswered questions.

***

She returned to the DEO less than an hour later. It had ended up being a simple case of drunk and disorderly behavior; amplified, perhaps, by Aldebaran rum and this particular alien’s ability to breath fire. No one was harmed, and the one tree that had managed to catch fire was summarily extinguished with freeze breath. While she appreciated the diversion from more weighty matters, Kara couldn’t help but feel that exercises like this for the DEO only served to exacerbate her frustrations, torn as she was between her duty to protect others and her complete distrust of the department with Lex Luthor at its head.

“Please tell me you found a lead on our would-be assassin,” pleaded Kara as Alex approached.

“You might be in luck. This Ryan Plummer has been turning up to work perfectly fine every day since the universe was corrected. Every day until yesterday.”

“Let me guess,” proposed Kara. “He didn’t show up to work yesterday?”

“No,” confirmed Alex, “but even stranger is that on the surface it all seems to check out. Doctor’s note and all. _But_ ,” breathed Alex, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “the doctor isn’t his usual doctor. He religiously has his check-ups with the same doctor, at the same clinic every six months – and he has done for years. This new universe has been settled for some time now, and yet there was absolutely no change in his behavior until yesterday. And then to make matters worse…” Alex looked at Kara as if bracing for an explosion. “The clinic on his doctor’s note is a recent acquisition of the Luthor Hospital Foundation.”

Kara said nothing. Alex hurried to explain, the words tumbling over each other. “I know you believe in Lena but affecting people’s minds and implanting false thoughts is something Myriad could have been useful for. And with Lex and Lena working together…I don’t know, Kara. It just seems…off,” she ended lamely.

Kara chose her words carefully before she responded. “Lena wanted to stop people from hurting one another. Whatever the methods, she would never leave someone angry, violent, and in pain – I know that much. Plus, why would she try and implant memories that would make herself a target? It makes no sense. But,” she added, cutting off Alex’s rising objection, “I will go check it out. Just please. Keep looking.”

***

“Damn it!”

Lena slapped her hand down on the table in frustration. After waking up to the new earth, she had been devastated to discover that her months of work creating a workable Non Nocere had vanished as if she had never worked on it in the first place. Her research notes, experiment logs…all gone. Although much of the process was committed to memory, it was further infuriating to discover that the different vibrational frequency of earth prime affected all of her Q-wave calculations. Further, without Malefic, there was no solid way to confirm the Q-wave frequency of this new earth, and each fruitless test was yet another slap in the face.

She was back to square one.

With a sigh of disgust, she pushed her laptop and its failed simulation away from her and sank back in her chair, her eyes closing as her head _thunked_ gently back against the headrest. If she could just get this one thing right, if she could _prove_ that she only wanted to stop people from hurting each other, and then show that it worked…well, everyone might just accept she wasn’t a villain. Accept that she was always trying to do her best for humanity. Accept that she was always worthy of their trust.

She opened her eyes at the soft sound as the door slid wide.

“You’re late.”

“Now, now, sister dear,” Lex said with a slight smirk. “Nothing worthwhile Is ever late.” He sauntered into her office, a small device clutched in one hand, as if he owned the place. Which, she had to admit, he now did. Again. She stifled her bitterness at the thought. Working with him was currently a necessary evil, but one that she hoped to do away with as soon as possible. “You might even look happy to see your brother for once.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Don’t count on it. You said you’d be here hours ago. I hope it’s worth my time.”

“Oh, more than that, sis!” Lex responded cheerfully. “through no small amount of effort, the DEO recently managed to procure some data you might find useful, courtesy of the future.” He set a small cube on the desk in front of her. “Here you will find all of the knowledge you could desire about Q-waves,” he said with a flourish and a wink. “You’re welcome.”

Lena hesitated before picking up the device.

“Go on,” Lex insisted. “Press the button.” She complied and was met with a glowing projection of herself. “Just think it, and it will give you your answers – I found it to be quite forthcoming. It really is quite a remarkable thing. I’ve no doubt you can fix your little frequency problem now.”

Lena was suspicious but allowed her curiosity and hope for a solution push down the feelings of distrust. “Thank you.”

“What are partners for?” replied Lex, smiling broadly.


	3. The Study

_Well, it definitely doesn’t_ look _like some supervillain hideaway_ , Kara noted to herself as she surveyed the area from the sky. It looked much like any medical center, and a steady flow of foot traffic in and out suggested there were people getting treated. Not wanting to cause undue concern in a closer investigation, she swooped down into the empty alley behind the building and emerged bespectacled and super-suit free.

“Ok, Kara,” advised Alex in her ear, “Ryan Plummer had an appointment with a Dr. Mason. If there are any leads, they might start there.”

“I’m on it.”

She stepped over the threshold to be greeted by the mundane sight of a doctor’s waiting room. Magazines of indeterminate age gathered clumsily on short tables. About a third of the plastic seats were occupied, and it was quiet save for a few hushed conversations. The air carried the distinctly medical smell that was customary to any treatment facility.

Kara stepped up to the reception desk, greeting the severe lady behind with a beaming smile.

“Hello! I’m looking for Dr. Mason. Is he in today?”

“Name?”

“Um…Dr. Mason?” Kara reiterated.

The clarification was given with a look that would have withered concrete; Kara’s customary cheerfulness did nothing to soften the conversation. “ _Your_ name?”

“Oh! Kara. Danvers. Kara Danvers.”

The receptionist reached for a small stack of papered clipboards with a heavy sigh. “Fill this out,” she grunted, thrusting the clipboard into Kara’s hands, “and wait to be called. It shouldn’t be long.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re here about the study?”

“The study? Oh yes – the _study_!” Kara affirmed quickly. “I am definitely here about the study. Study me up, that’s what I say!” she laughed, and then abruptly cleared her throat.

The receptionist rolled her eyes and jabbed a stubby finger at the clipboard in Kara’s hands. “Fill it out and wait to be called. It shouldn’t be long.”

Kara found a seat nearby and shuffled through the paperwork. _Liability release. Confidentiality form. Expected hazards…_ the list of dangers was both lengthy and vague. _Mood swings? Memory impairment?_ If Ryan Plummer had participated in whatever trial was being conducted, then mood swings and memory issues were great understatements.

Having no desire to participate in a medical study of any kind (doctors _may_ get suspicious of needles snapping on her arms), Kara instead sat back in her chair and listened. Even with her amplified hearing, she could distinguish no remarkable sounds from amongst the heartbeats and quiet conversations. Surreptitiously sliding her glasses up her nose in a feigned attempt to scratch an itch, she scanned her surroundings and was met with a darkness covering a wide swathe of floor, extending beyond the footprint of the clinic. Lead.

“Miss Danvers?” Kara settled her glasses back on her nose and sprang up from her chair. “If you could follow me?”

Clipboard firmly in hand, Kara allowed herself to be led through a set of doors leading further into the facility. They had not gone far when the nurse paused, rapped on the nearest door, and poked his nose through.

“Miss Danvers for you.”

The deep reply rumbled from within the office. “Thank you – send her in!”

The nurse opened the door wider, and stepped back to let Kara to pass him into the office before turning away and allowing the door to shut behind her.

“Hello Dr. Mason!” greeted Kara with her hand outstretched, trademark Danvers smile once again plastered on her face.

“Hello Miss Danvers.” This time her smile was returned, warmly. “I don’t believe we’ve met, although I thought I recognized the name.” He waved at the chair opposite him, and they both took a seat. “And now I recognize your face from the Pulitzer ceremony – quite the drama that was! To what do I owe the pleasure?” Glancing at the blank forms in her hand, he continued. “You’re clearly not here to participate in the study, even if I were to open it prematurely to the press.”

Kara grinned sheepishly, laying the clipboard on the desk. “You got me. No, I’m not here for the study,” she conceded. “Dr. Mason, have you heard of a man called Ryan Plummer?”

“Ah yes,” the doctor lamented sadly. “Dreadful business. He had an appointment with me yesterday as a prospective candidate for the study. Unfortunately, he didn’t qualify, so he left. And then this morning…” he shrugged his shoulders, at a loss for words.

“Was there any reason for his disqualification?”

“I’m afraid I can’t answer that,” Dr. Mason demurred, “for confidentiality reasons, I’m sure you understand. He seemed fine when he left – so I’m completely in the dark. I’m sorry I can’t be any more help.”

“That’s ok,” Kara sympathized with a wave of her hand. “Thank you for your time”. As she turned to leave, she quickly scanned the room and noticed a darkness behind a section of wood paneling travelling down and connecting to the inky mass in the floor. She inwardly rolled her eyes. When will people realize that hiding things with lead just _confirms_ there is something to hide? She showed herself out of the office, thoughts heavy with the despair that just maybe her sister was right.

***

“Will you please just wait for some back-up? Anything covered that obviously in lead at a _Luthor-owned facility_ is basically _begging_ to be a trap.”

Alex’s voice on comms was exasperated. She had been fruitlessly been trying to caution her sister since Kara had left the clinic earlier that afternoon. It was dark now, and Supergirl was waiting less than patiently on a nearby rooftop, preparing to infiltrate whatever secret rooms lay behind the lead protection

“No. I need to find out for myself. I don’t want anyone else assuming Lena is responsible for this.”

“Supergirl, please, be realistic—”

The voice in her ear went silent as Supergirl closed the comm-link. The last thing she needed was another lecture.

Although stealth was not her strong suit, Supergirl entered the building through a locked door on the roof with no more damage than a broken, and quickly discarded, padlock and chain. She slipped down the stairwell, ears alert. A brief scan of the above-ground levels indicated that the building itself was indeed empty for the night, so she hurried to Dr. Mason’s office to begin her search.

The door yielded quickly, a shake of the handle and a lift of the door _just so_ popped the door from its frame. After first heading to the desk and confirming the existence of only mundane paperwork, Supergirl turned her attention to the far wall and the entrance it concealed. The wood paneling surrendered in a similar manner to the door, with three squares swinging away from the wall on concealed hinges. Supergirl was delighted to note that as far as secret passages go, this one was very low-tech. Stairs peeled away into darkness, and she followed them after briefly turning to slot the paneling back into place. The tunnel waiting at the bottom was wide and well-lit. A golf cart was parked neatly to the side, and it seemed a necessary luxury as the pathway extended far into the distance. With a breath, she swept down the corridor in a blur of red and blue.

***

“Alex?”

Supergirl re-connected to her comms with a shaky finger to her ear.

“Supergirl! Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick! Don’t leave me like that, ever—”

“Alex. It’s her handwriting.”

She had followed the tunnel for a mile or two, estimating the journey placed her underneath the old industrial quarter, which was mostly abandoned and decrepit. The door she reached involved security much more advanced than the passage opening at the clinic, but few security doors could account for a Kryptonian punching out the neighboring wall. Inside appeared to be a typical lab, but her heart clenched seeing notebooks filled with a familiar, neat script.

“Lena. It’s her handwriting. There is research here on using Q waves to implant thoughts. And Lex’s diaries are here too…And tests. Ryan was one of them. Trying to implant thoughts of the old earth. But why? I can’t believe she’d be working with her brother for this…” She had a tight grasp on one of Lena’s workbooks, following the tidy handwriting with the tip of a finger. She slammed the book shut and slipped it inside her suit.

Kara’s felt like the world was crashing down around her ears. She still couldn’t believe. There was some explanation, she was sure. She just had to talk to Lena, to hear—

“Activating Kryptonian Protocol. Arming. Lexbots engage.”

She didn’t have time to think. A blast of green exploded near her, and she dodged to the side, spinning to face her attacker. Attackers. She counted six automated Lexosuits, all oozing a sickly familiar green glow. All focused on her.

“Supergirl, what’s wrong?”

She flashed her heat vision into their midst before bursting through the layers of concrete and earth above her.

“Supergirl?”

“Lexosuits. Can’t. Talk.” The words were harsh grunts, forced through clenched teeth as she twisted in the air, trying to escape the robots. It took everything to avoid the coordinated blasts of Kryptonite that, should they land, would surely knock her from the sky. Even at a distance, she could feel the faint weakness that only exposure to the toxic substance could cause.

There were too many of them. Her heat vision knocked them back momentarily, but the blasted automatons soon rejoined the pack. She couldn’t risk direct contact; a misplaced punch would cause knives of pain to run through her veins, cause her to lose strength, cause her to be overwhelmed. She was faster, but their superior numbers allowed her to be herded away from her escape.

“Alex, help!”

Too slow. A flash of green burned against her shoulder, ice and fire all at once. She groaned in pain as she fell to the ground, gasping for breath, emerald veins pulsing in her neck. Her six attackers floated in a ring above her, mechanisms whirring to a crescendo as gauntleted fists grew brighter.

Her eyes grew hot, as she was gripped by an overwhelming terror. She was cornered. Her scream encompassed her fear and helplessness as a violent wave of heat burst outward. Supergirl crumpled to the ground, spent.

“Kara!”

She remembered nothing more as the world dissolved to black. 


	4. What it Feels Like to be Human

She had _definitely_ been hit by a bus.

 _Perhaps not a bus_ , she reconsidered. _They’re far too easy to stop. Maybe a mountain. Or a small moon._

Kara’s head was pounding viciously. Her body felt heavy, too many aches all clamoring for attention all at once.

_Or a big moon._

She tentatively attempted to open her groggy eyes, before hastily squeezing them shut against the violent light of an unfamiliar lamp. The bed below her seemed comforting and familiar, and she shifted to settle deeper into the blankets. The movement triggered a sharp pain in her shoulder, and she grunted softly.

_Not dead then._

“Kara?” It was a familiar voice. “Kara are you awake?”

“Alex? What– _ouch!_ ” Her eyes shot open and her head jerked up as the question was interrupted by a firm _thump_ to her arm.

“I’m glad you’re awake – so you can hear me tell you what an _idiot_ you are!” Alex fumed. “I _told_ you to wait for backup.”

Kara’s open eyes captured her sister’s imposing form above her, her eyes thundering, and her lips pressed tightly together. The backdrop was easily recognizable; she was in her room, in her apartment. In her bed. She sank her head back down into the pillows.

_Definitely not dead._

“We’re not at the DEO?”

“Astute observation, genius.” Alex sighed heavily, then slumped to a seat on the edge of the bed. Exhaustion was written in the crease of her brow and the darkness under her eyes. Kara wondered how long it had been since her sister had slept.

“What happened?” Kara queried, placing a gentle hand on Alex’s knee. Alex took her hand in her own and squeezed gently.

“You scared the living crap out of me, that’s what happened.” Alex started softly. “We could track you as soon as you got above ground, and we saw the Kryptonite signature from the satellites…I called J’onn but I didn’t think he’d make it.”

Kara was puzzled. “I don’t remember seeing him.”

“You didn’t. By the time he got there you were unconscious and everything within a hundred-foot radius had been blasted.” Alex seemed both awe-struck and terrified. “There was no sign of any of the Lexosuits either, just some darker smudges in the ash. You somehow managed to release all of your heat energy at once, like some sort of living bomb. I’m glad the only buildings around were abandoned.”

Kara winced shamefully at the destruction she’d caused. “No one was hurt?”

“No one but you.” Alex clarified sternly, then softened. “You solar-flared pretty spectacularly. I asked J’onn to bring you here. Fortunately, Brainy was able to rig up a portable sun lamp, although you won’t heal up fully without your powers. I didn’t want you any closer to Lex than you had to be when you’re basically human.”

Kara sat up with a jolt.

“Lex. _Lena._ Alex, where’s the journal that was in my suit?” Kara asked frantically.

“It’s on the dresser, but I don’t think—”

Kara had stopped listening, swinging her tired legs out of bed, kicking at the blanket trails that seemed determined to keep her restrained. She started to dress as her sister protested.

“ _Kara_ , you almost _died._ You need to rest. Whatever this is can wait. Don’t you remember? You’re vulnerable right now! You need to stay here until you get your powers back.”

“I can’t stay here, not having answers,” responded Kara, clumsily tugging on her socks. “Geez!” she explained in frustration. “How do you get ready every day moving _this_ slowly?”

“Kara, please. At least let me come with you.” Alex’s eyes were pleading, begging for her sister to listen to reason.

“I need to do this on my own, Alex,” apologized Kara. “It’s because of me this is happening. And I need to find out what she’s doing with _him_. I need to know _why._ ” Kara grabbed her purse, collected the journal, and stuffed it inside. “I’m not going to face Lexosuits strolling through L-Corp. I’ll be fine. I just need answers.” She pulled Alex into a tight embrace, ignoring the pain in her shoulder for the comfort and strength her sister gave her. With a quick smile, she turned and left. She didn’t see concerned eyes follow her out the door. Her regular hearing didn’t register the appeal to “be careful, Kara.”

_I just need answers._

***

The drive to the L-Corp building had been torturously slow, used as she was to the express route to Lena’s office balcony. She was positive Rao was mocking her when nearly every light she approached turned red, causing an anxious and impatient wait until it was her turn to go. After finally pulling up to an empty space in a nearby parking garage – _it costs_ how much _to park?_ – Kara had swept into the L-Corp lobby, hopped on an elevator to the CEO floor, and now stood lamely outside Lena’s office door, summoning the courage to step inside. She was grateful that Lena’s assistant – _Jess, was it?_ – had stepped away for a moment, allowing Kara to slip through to Lena’s office unrestricted. With a deep breath, she knocked, and before waiting for an answer, pushed open the door and stepped inside.

It was a clear, bright day in National City. Sunshine filtered through the windows, bathing the room in a golden light that helped balance otherwise austere furnishings. Behind the desk, one elbow propped on the surface to cradle her head in her hand, was Lena Luthor, her hair scraped back into a neat ponytail. She lifted her gaze at the sound of the opening door, then froze, her mouth forming a small circle in surprise.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Jess?”

Kara stepped forward, the door falling shut behind her as she approached the desk.

“We need to talk.” She did her best to stop her voice from shaking, desperately trying to control the hurt and frustration. Desperately trying to avoid accusations in the search for the truth. Her uncooperative heart pounded a tattoo on her ribcage, fighting her need to be calm.

“At least you finally realized my balcony isn’t an entrance, Supergirl.” Lena’s voice was cold, and the control of her features was masterful; collecting herself from the initial surprise, her face now betrayed no sense of her thoughts. Kara wondered if Lena’s heart was as traitorous as her own; with human ears, there was no way to tell.

_My name is Kara. I’m still Kara._

Without replying, Kara reached into her purse – the slight flinch behind the desk tore at her heart – and pulled out the journal, dropping the bag unceremoniously to the floor. She dropped the book to the table, focusing intently on the green eyes before her for a glimmer of response.

Lena froze again, but the mask on her face stayed in place. She reached forward, fingers trembling slightly as her hand gripped the smooth cover.

“Where,” Lena started, “did you find this?”

“You said you wanted to do no harm,” said Kara, pointedly ignoring the question. “I always believed you, because I _know_ you’re a good person.” She continued, her voice strong and even despite the tumult of emotions beneath. “A thousand times, I argued for you. ‘She may be a Luthor, but _she is not Lex_ ’. I could understand your hurt, your betrayal, wanting to make sure no-one could hurt anyone again. I still don’t believe you’re responsible despite all the evidence to the contrary, but Lena,” she begged, “why have you been working with him? Do you know what your research has done?”

Lena was flipping through the journal, almost reverently, confusion slipping through her iron control.

“I—” she cleared her throat. “I don’t understand. This shouldn’t be here.”

“Well then where _should_ it be?” Kara challenged, waving her hands in irritation.

“No, I mean it shouldn’t _be here_ , on this earth. I wrote this before…well, before. I thought it was lost.”

“Oh.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“Where did you find it?” Lena reiterated.

“In a secret lab under a newly acquired Luthor clinic.” Kara explained. “That one, and others. Lex’s diaries, too. And records of tests using _your_ Q-wave research to implant memories. One of the test subjects was Ryan Plummer.”

“Ryan…The madman from the unveiling?”

“Yes. Why would you think he’d be helping with your research, Lena?” Kara demanded. “To be _nice_?” She scoffed. “He’s been using your research to try and put fake memories into people’s heads, driving them insane in the process. He’s starting with his real memories, with some alterations – alterations that seem to paint _you_ as the villain. But who knows what sort of damage Lex Luthor could do changing memories at will?”

“Why, because he’s a Luthor?”

“No, because he’s _Lex_!” Kara countered exasperatedly. She softened, suddenly, drained of anger. “You know the damage he can do,” Kara said sadly, “so why are you helping him?”

“Better the snake you can see,” remarked Lena bitterly. “If he’s close, I can keep an eye on him. He can’t betray me because I don’t trust a word he says.”

“I know you’ve been hurt. I know _I_ hurt you. It is still the biggest regret of my life.” Blue tried to reach green as Kara’s eyes implored Lena to understand, to feel the truth in her words, but Lena’s eyes were cast down. “I don’t know how I can make you understand how much you mean to me, but Lena…that research,” she pointed to the journal still held firmly in Lena’s hand, “isn’t the way to fix it. Q-waves literally strip away a person’s freedom. Their right to decide. Part of being human is making choices, the choice _not_ to hurt people, the choice to do better if you make a mistake. The end doesn’t justify the means, and if you don’t realize that this work can hurt people then you’re far more lost than I thought.”

Lena laughed cynically, the sound harsh and abrasive. “You wouldn’t know what it feels like to be human though, would you?”

She was saved from a response by the doors to the office barging open, the errant Jess stalking through. Kara noted the state of her clothing, of her hair. The mad look in her eyes.

_Oh no._

She watched as the assistant reached behind and drew a pistol, holding it before her with trembling arms. Kara eased herself sideways to stand between Jess and her target, hoping to Rao that Lena had a silent alarm for security.

“Jess? What are you doing?” Lena’s voice echoed with confusion as she gently lifted herself from her chair.

“You left me to die. Hundreds of ships left National City, but _you_ left me behind. I can still feel the burn…it was terrifying. All that red…” Jess was shaking, lost in her mind to the pain she shouldn’t remember feeling.

“Jess, I’m not sure what you’re remembering—”

“I’m remembering you!” She waved the gun wildly, and Kara raised a steadying hand. “You sent me home, then I see ships leaving through a portal that was exactly like the one you built before. I thought I meant something to you, but you left me to die!” She was choking back tears. “You left me to die…”

“It’s ok,” Kara sympathized, taking a slight step forward. Jess turned, gun before her.

“Stay back!”

Kara halted and raised both hands slowly to the air. “It’s ok,” she continued. “Why don’t we talk about this? Hm?” Kara coaxed gently. “What do you remember?”

Jess paused, uncertain.

“She…she left me. Left me to die.”

“But you’re alive, Jess. Alive with us. With friends.”

“Friends…”

“Yes,” assured Kara. “Friends. You’ve worked here for years. Lena’s been there for you. She’s saved us all more times than I can count.”

“Lena?” Jess appeared shocked, seeming to finally realize where she was. She gazed at the weapon in her hands and looked up to Kara horrified.

“What—”

The door crashed open. Security officers dived at the assistant and tackled her to the ground, but not before a resounding crack thundered through the office. Lena reflexively ducked, but the danger had passed. Jess was weeping, pinned to the ground under the crush, and Kara was standing indomitable before her.

“It must be nice to be bulletproof,” Lena huffed under her breath. She raised her voice just enough for Kara to hear “I’m glad you showing up seems to coincide with my regularly scheduled assassination attempts.”

There was a pause. It lasted too long.

Kara stumbled slightly as she turned to face Lena, eyes wide.

“Lena…?”

_So. This is what it feels like to be human._

Crimson bloomed across her stomach. She sank to her knees, barely registering the terror on Lena’s face as she slumped to the ground.

“No…” The voice was barely a whisper. The Luthor mask had slipped entirely. “Kara!”

Lena rounded the desk, fueled by her panic. She caught Kara’s head before it landed on the floor and pressed a quivering hand to her friend’s stomach. It pulled away red.

“How…? Kara stay with me. Stay with me please, I can’t lose you again!” She screeched for help, the officers in the room calling for an ambulance. Help that would take far too long to come.

“Kara, please…” Lena begged, holding her hand tightly to the wound, but there was so much blood. So much blood…

Kara’s breath came in ragged gasps. She was still conscious, but barely, eyes fluttering in pain. Even against the pale furnishings, her face was white as bone.

A gust of air at the balcony drew her gaze, as J’onn Jonnz phased through the glass doors.

“Move.”

She found herself unable to do so as strong hands pulled Kara from her lap. She remained motionless, stunned, as the Martian cradled the body and sped from the room.

And just like that, she was gone. A breath of air vanished in the wind. There was nothing left but the stains on her hands and the chasm in her heart.


	5. And So, She Waited

_So. This is what it feels like to be human._

She vaguely remembered falling. Soft hands, cradling her head, holding her. Warmth. She was so cold. Strong hands, then, lifting her. Wind. Sun. Flying? She was sinking. Sinking into green, horrified eyes…

_***_

J’onn landed at the DEO still running. The brief time in the sun seemed to have slowed the downward spiral, but Kara was lifeless, a deathly pallor creeping into her face. She didn’t move an inch as he unloaded her onto a bed in the infirmary, didn’t bat an eye at the sudden brightness of sunlamps. DEO doctors buzzed, moving quickly to stem the tide of blood. Needles slipped through pliable skin to desperately replenish lost fluids, and a mask forced oxygen to lungs that barely remembered to breathe.

It wasn’t long before the doors to the infirmary burst open and the world stood still.

Alex Danvers, Director of the DEO. Cool. Calm. Calculating.

Undone.

She stopped suddenly, scraping to a halt just inside the doorway. Her hair clung stubbornly to her sodden forehead, drenched in sweat from the fear, or the exertion, or both. She didn’t know.

Her baby sister had been shot.

She was vulnerable. She was human. And she had been shot.

Alex remained rooted to the spot, paralyzed by Kara’s pale form before her, mesmerized by the drops of blood specking the otherwise unblemished linoleum.

Her sister had been shot.

_Her sister had been shot._

“Everybody, out. Now!” Alex barked, jerked from her stupor by a rush of fear. She pointed a finger at the most trustworthy DEO doctor she knew. “Hamilton, J’onn, stay.”

She rushed to the bedside, snapping on latex gloves with unparalleled urgency as Dr. Hamilton began her brief. She managed to note that Kara’s hair tumbled loose and her glasses were absent from her face. She sent a silent thank you to J’onn for his quick thinking.

“GSW from handgun to lower left abdomen, significant blood loss indicating potential internal bleed. No exit wound found. Sun lamps to maximum, but solar flare inhibiting sunlight processing for recovery.”

“Transfusion?”

J’onn cut in. “This DEO never kept a store of her blood for emergencies. And Superman returned to Argo.”

Alex’s heart twisted in her chest.

“Ok.” She took a shuddering breath in, eyeing the blood seeping slowly through the wound dressing that had been applied before her arrival. “Let’s get that bullet out and stop this bleeding. J’onn—” she met his eyes, seeing a well of pain and determination that mirrored her own. “Do whatever you need to do to keep her brain active. Don’t lose her.”

The two doctors set to work, competent hands working meticulously and rapidly; the Martian closed his eyes and focused somberly on his task.

 _Come on, Kara._ Alex prayed.

_Don’t leave me._

***

Nothing could have torn Alex from Kara’s bedside. The surgery had gone as well as could be hoped; the bullet had been found and removed, and a potentially lethal internal wound was stitched. Kara had lost a phenomenal amount of blood – that she was still alive at all was a testament to her Kryptonian physiology, even weakened as she was. And yet, she remained comatose. It was a race, now – she desperately needed a transfusion to offset the traumatic blood loss, but none would be forthcoming. The final hope lay in Kara recovering her ability to metabolize sunlight in time to truly heal her injuries.

Alex was perched gently on a chair next to the hospital bed. Her head was lowered to the covers, and Kara’s left hand was clasped tightly in both of her own. Exhaustion weighed heavily on her shoulders; her eyelids drooped, only to be shocked open by the gentle _beep_ of medical devices. She felt deprived of tears, somehow. She existed only in a state of shock, and of waiting. And so, she waited.

Director Danvers seeing Supergirl at death’s door wasn’t a new experience – it had happened more times than she cared to count. She had cried over Supergirl’s body, begged her to accept sunlight from the plants to heal, pleaded with the darkness to save her life. Supergirl had lived. She had witnessed Supergirl brave one danger after the next and survive. And _thrive_.

Seeing _Kara_ like this almost broke her. She couldn’t watch her die. Not her gentle, kind sister who brought the sunshine wherever she went. The one who challenged her to be better, and who held her when she was hurting. The sister with the _worst_ taste in television. Life wouldn’t be possible without her. And so, she waited.

She had been waiting alone for some time. J’onn had stayed for a while; Alex couldn’t find herself reassured by his gentle updates that he still sensed brain activity, so he had left her in peace. She vaguely noted Nia and Brainy hesitating outside, but they seemed to think better of disturbing her observance.

She would stay, vigilant, until her sister gave her a reason not to.

One way or the other.

And so, she waited.


	6. Too Large For Little Boxes

_Kara is dead because of me_.

Lena was positive. Kara had taken a bullet for her. Lena had _let her_. Laughed it off, even. She remembered feeling so secure, having Supergirl standing between her and a gun. It had been strange Kara hadn’t even _tried_ to find an excuse to leave, to go ‘super up’ – bullets ricocheting off of skin is a bit obvious – but what can you expect of someone with the confidence of invulnerability? _Must be nice to be bulletproof._

She had never hated herself as deeply as she did in that moment.

When the police had first arrived on the scene, they’d found Lena exactly where J’onn left her. She had been sitting back low on her heels; her knees had been soaked red where they remained moored in the puddle of blood by her desk, her stained palms turned loosely upwards in unknown supplication. She hadn’t known how long it had been before a young officer, his words muted to her deaf ears, gently helped her from the ground to a seat on her office couch. She hadn’t moved as Jess had been taken away, had ignored the hushed conversations between police officers and security guards as the scene was secured. She had simply sat, existing. A coward who had killed her friend.

If only she had been shot instead.

“Excuse me, ma’am?”

Lena struggled to extricate herself from the depths of her loathing enough to notice that the same officer who had helped her to the couch was attempting to grab her attention.

“Ma’am?”

“Yes?”

“I understand you’re probably in a bit of shock right now,” the officer started softly, “but I wondered if you’d be up to talking to me for a little about what happened here?”

_She’d only wanted to talk._

Lena gave the slightest of nods, not altogether trusting herself to speak.

“We understand someone was injured here. Can you tell us about them?”

The lump in Lena’s throat swelled, and her eyes shut against the tears. “Kara.” It was nearly a whisper. “Kara Danvers.” _She died for me. Because of me._

“And what happened?”

_I might as well have been the one to pull the trigger._

Her phone began to vibrate in her pocket, and she fumbled through the fabric until she held it in her trembling hands. Number unknown.

“I’m sorry,” Lena began apologetically, “I have to—Hello?”

“Hello, Ms. Luthor?” A precise, familiar drawl met her ears. “It is Agent Dox. I’m calling to inform you that Kara arrived at the DEO in time to undergo surgery. She is…” He paused, heavily. It was thick with words unsaid. “…alive.”

_Alive._

She found herself unable to respond, emotions in flux.

_Alive._

“She will be remaining at the DEO for now,” continued Brainy. “Alex will not leave her side. I’m aware of the current unfortunate nature of your relationship, but – if I may be so bold – there are some things too large for little boxes.” The phone beeped as the call was ended.

_Kara is alive!_

She scrambled to collect herself, jumping to her feet and pushing her hair behind her ears.

“I’m sorry, officer”, she said, hurriedly. “I need to go. Ask security if you need anything, footage, access, anything at all. I need to go.” A faint objection faded on his lips as the CEO barreled out of her office, leaving behind quizzical expressions and unanswered questions. There was no time to waste.

_Kara is still alive._

***

Alex woke, head thick and foggy, to familiar voices outside the door. She slowly peeled her face from the bed; her neck was stiff and uncooperative from the unintended nap, and the creases of the sheets had etched swirls into her cheek. A quick glimpse at the clock on the wall indicated she hadn’t been out for long – twenty minutes, at the most. Kara’s hand still rested in her own, and a worried glance at the monitors showed that her sister’s condition had at least failed to deteriorate while she slept. Kara’s chest rose and fell with her breath nearly imperceptibly, but she was still breathing. There was still hope.

“Look, I think it’s best if you leave, for now. She’s resting. I will call you if there’s any change.”

That was J’onn. He may have left her privacy, but it seemed he was still outside, diligently guarding against unwanted intrusions. Her heart warmed with appreciation. Twisting to see out the narrow windows in the infirmary doors, Alex spotted the visitor, and her heart dropped just as quickly. Lena Luthor.

 _What the_ hell _is she doing here._

Alex felt a flare of anger that pushed her to her feet, and, before she knew it, she was striding to the door, face like thunder.

“I just want to see—” Lena stopped as the door flew open and Alex marched to stand beside J’onn. Alex noted the bloodstains worked into Lena’s clothes. Kara’s blood. It did nothing to quell her anger.

“Leave. Now.” Alex’s voice dripped with warning; her terse words forced through a clenched jaw.

Lena was still staring into the infirmary over her shoulder as the door swung shut. Her face held pain.

_Good. She deserves it._

Lena dragged her gaze back to Alex, meeting the storm in her eyes with barely concealed shame.

“I just…I just wanted to see her.”

“Why?” Alex countered angrily. “You haven’t wanted anything to do with her. You think now you almost got her killed you can just waltz back, and all is forgiven? Well I’ll let you in on a little secret,” she continued. “I’m not nearly as forgiving as she is.”

“I just…I don’t understand how…” stumbled Lena.

“How she got shot? I thought you’d have guessed, seeing as it was an old trick of your mother’s,” mocked Alex, her own fear and pain lending added venom to her words. “Too much heat vision, solar flare. No powers. She almost died _yesterday_. That little journal she took to show you was in a research lab guarded by Kryptonian-killing Lexo-suits. She barely got out. And you chose to _work_ with him,” Alex spat with disgust.

“I wasn’t working _with_ him, it was just—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” interrupted Alex. “Project do-no-harm. How’s that working out for you?”

Lena had no response.

“You know, she tried _so hard_ with you. I loved you to death, you were like family – but she was something else. She really couldn’t stop beating herself up about not telling you the truth. She was so _worried_ about losing you – crazy, right?” Alex laughed, a hollow sound. “She _tried._ After the crisis, she thought you would be in the dark. She was so determined to not lie to you again that she was willing to make you hate her again. Putting her own happiness on the line, as always. You think that was easy? Lex may have got to you first, but she _tried._ ” Alex was worked up, the words tumbling over each other in an attempt to be heard. “For _years_ , she has does nothing but defend you – over, and over, and _over_. Saying how you’re nothing like your family, and I believed it because _she_ believed it, so strongly, so earnestly. Even your latest project, she thought you’d just lost your way. When you told her that you’d forgiven her…I don’t remember ever seeing her so happy. You _knew_ , and you forgave her. This giant weight was off her shoulders, and I remember she was just so determined to do better by you. To make up for things however she could. She crossed lines she would _never_ have crossed just to make you happy, and for what? For you to get back on the bullshit, only this time working with someone who has tried to kill _both of you_ multiple times? I never pegged you as an idiot, Lena.”

Alex breathed deeply, watching Lena’s eyes threatening to be overrun by tears. Once, she would have called Lena her sister. She’d loved her like one. Her betrayal of Kara had wounded her far worse than she’d care to admit.

“Just…just go home, Lena,” Alex waved dismissively. “You’ve done enough.”

Alex turned on her heel and headed back to resume her vigil.

_You better hope she lives._


	7. At the Bottom of a Bottle

It had been three days since Kara had taken a bullet for her.

Had it been three days? More?

Lena hadn’t heard a word from Alex or J’onn, had no idea if Kara was alive or dead. The passing time, quite frankly, had ceased to be relevant. Going to work was an impossibility; she refused to step foot in the building, and instead had sequestered herself away inside her apartment. She had delegated what she could and ignored what she couldn’t – it wasn’t her L-Corp anyway. Not anymore. Not her problem.

She grabbed a bottle from the counter and staggered back to the couch. Glass clinked as Lena nudged a path through the empties with her feet, and then she crashed down into the cushions, picking up her empty glass to refill. She’d had a routine the last few days: drink, stare at the phone, pass out. Repeat. She’d ignored the occasional knocks at the door when she realized it was business, and that there was no update on Kara. _Kara_. Why was there no _news_?

Lena put down the bottle and picked up her phone. Her fingers hovered over Kara’s contact details; despite her betrayal, she still hadn’t brought herself to delete the number. An infectious grin beamed back at her from the contact photo, the subject holding open a copy of CatCo. magazine in front of her chest. Lena remembered taking the picture; Kara had just published the article on L-Corp’s alien detection device, and she had seemed so proud of her work that Lena had suggested a photo for posterity. She’d appreciated not being crucified by the reporter’s – what was it? – _bleeding heart, pro-alien views_.

_I’m such an idiot._

She almost tossed her phone back down then, as she’d done many times before, but the desperation to hear Kara’s voice won out. She took a hefty swig from her glass, the rush of warmth barely noticeable in her intoxicated state. Emboldened by an excess of whiskey and days’ worth of restless waiting, Lena hit the call button, and her chest constricted with anxiety as she waited for it to connect.

Straight to answerphone.

_“Hello, you’ve reached Kara Danvers! I can’t come to the phone right now, but please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”_

The message tone sounded, and Lena choked on the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. The delicate hope that Kara would be alive and well on the other end of the phone fractured. Seconds passed in silence as the guilt and pain threatened to overwhelm her.

“Kara? Kara, please be there,” Lena pleaded. “It’s me.”

She paused, lost for words.

“I came to see you, you know,” she sniffed. “I need you to know that. I need you to know…”

The silence stretched, her phone still held loosely to her ear. She thought she’d cried herself out, but her eyes stung with burgeoning tears.

“Why?” demanded Lena. “Why would you save my life? After everything I did to you…You should have let her shoot me. I’m no better than the rest of my family.” The tears fell freely now, carving slick tracks down her cheeks. “I was hurting, so I wanted you to hurt. How twisted is that?” Lena laughed, a harsh, humorless bark. “Very _Luthor_ of me. I suppose I was right before. You shouldn’t have believed in me. I’m not worth it. I—”

Her phone beeped a warning – _message limit exceeded –_ and her words died on her lips. She sobbed in frustration and hurled her phone across the room. The screen shattered when it collided with the wall, small flakes of glass dusting the floor, the useless device settling among the debris. Lena snatched up a whisky bottle from the cluster at her feet and drained it into her glass. She settled back into the couch and inhaled a long draught, escaping to the numbness of oblivion.

***

Lena was awoken by a gentle knock at the door. She had fallen asleep, her empty glass still grasped loosely in unconscious fingers. Soft light filtered through windows; it was early, then – or late. She had no idea how long she’d slept. She quickly looked for her phone, fearing she’d missed something, before remembering what she’d done. Lena grabbed the throw over the back of the couch and drew it over her eyes, frustrated.

The knock came again, more insistently this time. She squeezed the blanket harder, shutting out the world. Whoever it was would go away, just like the rest, and then she would be left alone. Her vision swam whenever she opened her eyes, so she shut them tighter and waited. The pounding in her head masked the low noise of receding footsteps, but there were no further knocks on her door. Alone.

Lena gracelessly flipped the blanket away from her face and struggled to a seating position. Bracing herself on the couch cushions, she pushed herself to her feet, lurching slightly as she tried to keep her balance. She noted the empty bottle and realized she must have finished it before passing out. She eyed up her liquor cabinet, knowing some choice options still remained.

_Can’t be hungover if I stay drunk_.

Glass still firmly in hand, Lena stepped towards the kitchen. An abrupt rush of wind on her balcony halted her in her tracks, and she whirled to face the noise in panic, expecting another attempt on her life. Her glass dropped to the ground and shattered as her grip slacked in shock.

“Would you mind letting me in? I didn’t really want to fly today. I’m a little tired.”

The voice was muffled through the balcony glass, but the sound was unmistakable, as was the woman it belonged to.

“…Kara?” Lena was static, mouth agape.

_Kara!_

Stumbling quickly to the balcony, Lena fumbled with the latch and slid the door open. The woman before her seemed an odd amalgamation of the people she’d known. Her blonde hair tumbled free, catching the sun and glowing warmly. There were no glasses on her face, and yet the Supergirl stylings were mashed incongruously with the Kara Danvers cozy-night-in classic, a comfortable-looking hoodie and accompanying sweatpants.

She hesitated then, uncertain. What did you say to someone you betrayed? Who then sacrificed themselves for you? Kara hovered expectantly outside.

“Come in,” Lena slurred after a pause.

_Still drunk after all then._

Lena edged backwards to allow Kara to pass. “Can I get you a drink?”

“No, I’m alright,” Kara responded gently, stepping inside. “Do you mind if I sit, though?” she asked.

“Yeah, of course just—” Lena darted back to the couch, tripping over thin air as she willed her inebriated limbs to coordinate. “—give me a sec…” She gathered empty bottles into her arms, staring despairingly at the collection of glass and wishing fervently for an extra arm. She tried not to see Kara’s concerned grimace as she wrestled with the alcohol bottles, before opting to drop them all back in a pile and push them away with a foot. She tossed the throw blanket back over the couch, and then waved at an empty seat. “Please.”

Kara settled heavily into the seat, sighing with relief as she sat down. She looked exhausted. Dark bags shadowed her eyes, and her lethargic movements were far from her usual effortless grace. She had her regular coloring, though, and showed no sign of pain from the wound. A miracle.

Lena still stood anxiously, trying to form coherent sentences through the thick layer of fuzz in her brain.

“I thought you were dead.” She stated plainly.

_Good start. Tactful._

“Me too, for a minute there.”

“I mean, I hadn’t heard from anyone, and I tried to visit and heard nothing, and then I called you and it didn’t ring so I assumed the worst and that no one would tell me and…” Lena paused for breath, realizing she was babbling. She zipped her lips shut. _Someone, please, shut me up_.

“I got your message,” answered Kara.

“You did?”

“Yeah. When I woke up this morning. I tried to call you back, but it went straight—” Kara’s eyes drifted to the shattered phone on the ground. “—to answerphone. I suppose that explains it,” she said with a wry smile. “I wanted to see you myself, to let you know.”

“I bet Alex loved that.”

“She, uh, didn’t know,” replied Kara sheepishly. “I snuck out and gave her a call when I was already here. She’s probably completely apoplectic right now. I made sure Kelly would be around to buffer.”

“Ah.”

They sat for a moment in silence.

Kara broke it first. “Thank you for coming to visit me.”

“Thank me?” Lena laughed bitterly. “After all this, _you’re_ thanking _me_?”

“I did hear when you came to visit. I was mostly out of it – I only have flashes – but I’d recognize my sister railing on someone any day.”

“Believe me,” Lena answered, “I deserved it. And more.” The alcohol released any of the inhibitions that would usually filter her words. “I was vindictive. Spiteful. I lashed out, like I was a child finding out the tooth fairy was made up. And I almost got you killed. Multiple times.” She collapsed to the couch and sank her head into her hands, threatening to once more be overwhelmed by grief.

“Hey, now, don’t talk like that.” Kara rushed to support her, weeks of tension fading in a moment as she slid over to place a gentle arm consolingly over Lena’s shoulders. “We’ve both done things we’re not proud of.”

Lena froze for a moment, hesitant. She knew it couldn’t be this easy; she knew that, after all she’d done, there shouldn’t still be a chance to salvage a relationship. Part of her didn’t even want to. That part of her wanted to clutch her fragile trust to her chest and never let anyone back in, least of all Kara Danvers. Supergirl. The woman who’d broken her heart. That part of her weakened when faced with the sheer warmth emanating from the woman beside her. Alcohol consumed her resolve, and she turned into Kara’s shoulder, surrendering to the contact.

“I thought I’d lost you.” Lena’s voice was muffled by the thick fabric of the sweatshirt.

“I thought I’d lost you, too.” Kara brought her other arm around to join the first, enveloping Lena in a tight hug. “I’m glad I didn’t.”

Lena choked back a sob and reached her arm out to squeeze Kara in return.

“You shouldn’t be. I don’t know how to fix this.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

_How does she always have so much faith?_

“…I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

They sat like that for a time, not speaking. The silence held everything Lena had missed. Kara radiated unconditional love, even when she didn’t deserve it. _Especially_ when she didn’t deserve it. Nothing was fixed, certainly – but there was the hope that they might be able to try. The arms around her were solid and supportive, and her limbs grew heavy as the days of excessive drinking and sporadic sleep took their toll. Her eyelids began to droop, her body reacted to the first feeling of calm in days. Weeks, even. She’d forgotten how soothing Kara’s presence could be. She felt herself drifting…

Lena barely registered when Kara delicately extricated herself. She faintly recalled being lifted effortlessly into strong arms, and, before she knew it, she was swathed in cool sheets, pillowed by the softness of her bed. She remembered grasping at a hand as it pulled away, begging it to stay. She felt the blankets being drawn to her chin, and then nothing, as she slipped into a deep, restful sleep.


	8. Together

Lena woke, head throbbing, to unwelcome sunlight filtering through the blinds.

_Mother of all hangovers, someone put me out of my misery._

She raised a hand to her face, massaging her watery eyes with the heel, then shuffled upright, careful to keep her eyelids squeezed tightly shut against the glare. She was in her bed, which meant that memories of being carried from the couch were not from a dream. She remembered grabbing at Kara’s hand, begging her to stay, and winced in embarrassment. That probably wasn’t a dream either.

With a steadying breath, Lena cautiously cracked one eye open to check the clock on her bedside table and was greeted by the welcome sight of a glass of water and a packet of aspirin. Fumbling for a moment with the plastic packaging, Lena removed two tablets and swallowed them, emptying the water glass all at once to wash them down. Steeled by the thought that she would soon begin to feel a little more human, she twisted her legs out of bed, following a strong, singular purpose.

_Coffee._

Lena lurched a little as she gained her footing, but she found – with the exception of the headache from hell – that she was feeling more well rested than she had in days. A full night’s sleep in an actual bed probably had a lot to do with that. She headed to the kitchen, determined to revive herself fully with caffeine, but halted, surprised, after opening her bedroom door.

Kara Danvers was asleep on her couch.

One foot poked out from the end of a throw blanket that was far too short, a single knee propped up against the sofa; Kara’s sweater was folded into a tangled ball to support her head. Her discarded shoes were positioned neatly on the floor beside her; there was no sign of the pile of glass that had previously occupied the space. Strands of hair tumbled messily across her face, pinned by an arm slung lazily across her head. Her expression was peaceful in sleep, undisturbed by her cares, unburdened temporarily by the weight of the world.

Her reluctant heart warmed slightly knowing that Kara had thought it worth it to stay.

Attempting to slip slowly back into the bedroom so as not to wake her guest, Lena noted Kara’s eyes suddenly flickering open, and became still as glazed blue eyes met her own. Kara looked momentarily confused but recovered quickly, hurrying to sit up.

“Lena. Hi. Good morning,” she said with a quick clear of her throat, pushing the insufficient blanket aside.

Lena wasn’t sure what to say. In her indecision, she took comfort in the focus on her goal.

“Coffee?”

_***_

Kara hadn’t been sure what the reaction to her visit would be when she landed on the apartment balcony. Lena had clearly been drinking, and, from the mass of empty bottles, had been doing so for some time. She was hurting, that much was certain, and when she had finally broken down, Kara wanted nothing more than to envelope her in the love and support that she had so obviously been missing. Lena may have made it clear before that they weren’t friends, but Kara had never agreed to that – if she was needed, she was there. It had been no surprise when Lena had fallen asleep on her shoulder, emotionally spent. Restored to her powers, Lena was virtually weightless in her arms, so she had carried her to her room. Lena had begged her to stay, then, and Kara couldn’t find it in her heart to refuse. That is how she found herself waking to green eyes from across the room.

“Lena. Hi. Good morning.”

She tossed aside her makeshift bedding and sat up. Lena remained still, seemingly stunned. _What if she didn’t remember asking me to stay?_ Kara thought, suddenly anxious. _Did I overstep?_

“Coffee?” Lena asked, breaking eye contact and stepping towards the kitchen.

Kara sighed a breath of relief.

“Coffee would be great.”

Not wanting to interfere, Kara stayed on the couch. She checked her phone; she’d missed nothing but a vaguely threatening text from Alex; she promptly responded to try and curb the protective worrying. She was going to owe her sister a _lot_ of ice cream after the stress of the last few days.

Lena returned a short while later, two cups in hand. “I hope you haven’t changed your coffee order,” she said, sliding a mug across to Kara before taking her own seat. She deliberately sat at the far end of the sofa, maintaining the distance that she had briefly allowed to lapse the previous night. “Plenty of cream and sugar?”

“Perfect,” replied Kara.

Lena took a sip from her own mug, eyes closed, inhaling the bitter scent reverently. She looked peaceful, for a moment. Kara was hesitant to break the silence, instead sitting awkwardly, cradling her mug in both hands and watching the ribbons of steam rise from the surface of the drink.

“Thank you,” Lena started, her eyes turned down as Kara looked towards the voice, “for last night. I…apologize…for the state I was in when you got here. But thank you for staying. You didn’t have to.” Lena took another draught of coffee. “And for the aspirin,” she grimaced. “I needed it.”

“Of course,” replied Kara. She meant it.

Time stretched for a few interminable minutes, neither wanting to be the first to speak. Finally, steeling herself, Kara broached the silence, her eyes still fixed firmly on the mug in her hands. She didn’t dare look up and meet eyes that saw her as a stranger.

“We need to talk.”

The response, when it came, was quiet, but in full agreement.

“We need to talk.”

“So…” Kara said after a lengthy pause, tapping her fingers nervously against her cup. “Where do we start?”

“I’m not even sure,” said Lena honestly.

“Why…” Kara trailed off, suddenly unsure she wanted to ask the question. She finally bit the bullet.

“Why did you choose to work with Lex?” asked Kara hesitantly.

“I spoke to my mother.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah,” Lena said. “She pointed out, quite rightly, that if I worked with Supergirl – with you – that I’d not be able to prevent myself from letting you back in. But Lex…I wouldn’t ever let him in. I didn’t trust either of you, so what did it matter?” She at least looked uncomfortable as she shuffled in her seat. “I didn’t realize…I didn’t know he’d stolen my research.”

“And the research…”

“Non-Nocere. _Do no harm._ I wanted to stop people hurting each other. No lies, no betrayal. No pain. I was done being hurt.”

“I understand why you would want that,” acknowledged Kara softly. “I know some of that pain was caused by me. But the methods…forcibly changing peoples’ minds is _not_ good. Like… _objectively_ not good. Do you know who originally brought Myriad here?

Lena shook her head.

“It was my Aunt Astra. She’d been imprisoned off-world for trying to use it on Krypton. She wanted to use it to fix earth. Fix global warming, greed…it sounds perfect,” Kara explained. “But the end doesn’t justify the means. Being human is the freedom to make bad choices and make amends. Or so I’ve heard.” Kara smiled a soft, sad smile.

“What if someone can’t make amends? Or doesn’t want to?”

“I just have to have faith they can,” Kara stated plainly. “Otherwise, what’s the point of it all?”

She didn’t get an answer, but she didn’t expect one. They sipped on their coffees as the silence stretched.

Lena broke it first.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The pain in her voice was only thinly veiled, and Kara’s shame deepened.

“I meant what I said when I told you at the Pulitzer party,” Kara answered. “To be honest? I was a coward. The longer I waited, the harder it got… and I just kept making excuses to delay. I justified it by saying I was protecting you, but really? I was just so scared to lose you that I’d rather pretend everything was fine. And then I acted horribly to you when I got scared about the Kryptonite.” Kara winced. “How was I supposed to balance how I lashed out with what I actually felt about you, how I actually trusted you? I couldn’t. I messed up. So, I kept pretending. And I know that _Supergirl_ apologized for distrusting you, about the Kryptonite, about the Harun-El, but…I’d done it, you know? I let my fear get the better of me. I was ashamed,” Kara finished quietly.

She couldn’t tell if Lena was looking at her with concern or contempt. She continued, desperate to explain.

“I am so sorry, Lena. I am so sorry. I’m sorry for not telling you. I’m sorry for being weak. And I’m sorry for how I reacted about the Kryptonite. I need you to know I wasn’t exaggerating when I told you how it feels to be exposed to it. It’s not the fact it makes me vulnerable, although I know what could happen if my enemies got hold of it. It’s…I don’t even know how to describe it. It makes me feel like my _bones_ are on _fire_. It’s like my whole body is screaming and there’s nothing I can do about it. And I know because of these powers that I have that it’s important to have a safeguard, but…it _hurts_. I’m sorry for not trusting you when I should have. I let my fear get the better of me. I’m so, so, sorry. I hope one day you’ll believe me.”

“So –in the Fortress…”

“Fortunately, that wasn’t pure Kryptonite. Keeps a Kryptonian weak enough to not be able to smash through the reinforced crystal. The dose results in something more like a hangover. I will admit though,” Kara conceded, “I am a little claustrophobic. That was not a good time.”

It was Lena’s turn now to look ashamed.

“I’m so sorry for that. I just wanted to hurt you…like I was hurting. You showed more faith in me than I deserved after that.” Lena paused. “You’re not the only one who lashed out. Maybe telling me wouldn’t have made a difference anyway; maybe I was just doomed to take it badly.”

Kara snorted, laughing despite the seriousness of the conversation. Lena was confused, a slight wave of hurt passing over her features. Kara rushed to clarify.

“Sorry,” said Kara, still laughing. “It’s a funny story, actually. A fifth-dimensional trickster offered to re-write the world to let me tell you earlier and fix my mistake. It didn’t go so well.”

“A fifth…a what?”

“A fifth-dimensional trickster. He actually owed me for threatening to destroy the world and trying to force me to marry him.”

Lena’s eyelids flickered; the woman rendered speechless.

“It didn’t go well,” Kara repeated.

“The wedding?”

“No – well, yes, there was no wedding and then he had to do fifth-dimensional court-ordered community service, so it didn’t go well for him—" Lena arched an eyebrow. “But I meant the re-writes. He showed me what the world would be like if I told you at different times. It didn’t go well.”

No?”

“I tried to tell you…to tell you properly. Every single time it ended in disaster.”

“Disaster how?”

“The first time I told you,” Kara began tentatively, “you felt so betrayed that you left National City. That was right before the atmosphere was irradiated with Kryptonite. I died before you could make it back.”

Lena’s lips parted in disbelief; eyes wide.

“So, I went back further. Tried to fix when I…when I lashed out at you, about the Kryptonite for Reign. I hurt you again. You could have used my help with Sam, and I wasn’t there for you. I thought you wouldn’t forgive me again…but then you helped stop Reign. _Without_ Kryptonite.” Kara paused as the horrific events replayed in her brain. “…It didn’t work,” she continued, holding back the painful memory with a shuddering breath. “It didn’t stop her. She killed you. You died in my arms.” Kara blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall.

_It’s just a memory._ This _Lena is alive._

Lena’s face had frozen in her disbelief.

“I went back further. The last time I tried to tell you was not long after we became friends. You couldn’t believe I would trust you with a secret like that. But I did, unconditionally. I flew right out of your office window – your face was a picture, actually.” Kara tried to cut the tension with a weak chuckle, but Lena was still focusing intensely on the story. “After that, we changed the world – a Luthor and a Super working together? It was magic.” Kara smiled warmly this time; that, at least, was a memory to treasure. “We’d never been closer. You refused to give up my identity, even when your mother was on trial. I thought the world was _perfect_ ,” she stressed the word, “that _this_ was the reality I wanted.” Her smile faltered. “It didn’t last.”

“What happened?” asked Lena tentatively.

“The success of our…partnership…led to a surge in popularity for the cult of Rao. Some people put themselves in danger so I would save them – set fires, jumped off buildings. Ben Lockwood’s family jumped from a roof thinking I would save them. I couldn’t.”

Lena’s disbelief turned to horror at the revelation.

“He held Supergirl responsible, and Lena Luthor and Supergirl were partners. He kidnapped you and threatened to kill you unless I told the world who I was.”

“So, I died that time, too? I didn’t have a lot of luck in the fifth dimension.”

“No.” Kara met Lena’s eyes with a fiery intensity. “I wouldn’t let you die. I revealed who I was.”

“You…” Lena’s mouth gaped; her brain was visibly overclocking.

If the topic hadn’t been so grave, it might have been funny.

“You risked your identity?” she asked, confused. “To save me?”

“Yes,” Kara let out a frustrated laugh, “and then Agent Liberty murdered everyone I loved.”

Lena paled.

“What…what happened the next time?” Lena asked, overcome with morbid curiosity.

“I didn’t try to tell you again,” said Kara. There was something odd about her voice.

“What happened after that, Kara?” pressed Lena. “I want to know.”

_If you saw what I saw, you wouldn’t want to know. But I owe you the truth._

“I said that maybe you would have been better off if we’d never even met. Then I couldn’t hurt you,” Kara mumbled.

“And?” Lena insisted.

Kara didn’t want to say it. She didn’t want to unlock the hurt that was bound to follow.

“Do you remember the helicopter accident a few years ago?”

Lena nodded affirmation.

“If I never met you, I never helped the helicopter land. You crashed. You were basically dead.” Kara hesitated, but continued after a quick glance at Lena’s desperate eyes. “Your mother found you. She took you to Cadmus, experimented on you. You became Metallo.” The next words tumbled out in a rush. “You killed your mother, and Lex. You took over National City and ruled it with Reign as your enforcer. When I went to find you, you…you tried to kill me with Kryptonite. And I was going to let you.”

Kara remembered the eyes that carried nothing but pain and hatred. She could still feel the fire of the green light, burning, tearing, suffocating…

_Why do the memories still have to feel so_ real?

Lena was shocked into silence, all the blood drained from her face. The trembling knuckles that gripped her coffee mug were bone white.

“But that’s not you, Lena. That’s not who you are. It’s a fiction, that’s all.”

“It couldn’t come from nothing, Kara. To know I’m capable of that… _evil.”_

_“It was not you, Lena,_ ” Kara insisted. “ _It was not you_. You are good at your _core_ , I _know_ that. You have to believe me.”

Lena was still as she met Kara’s eyes. Searching…for what, Kara didn’t know. Kara was surprised when Lena finally responded.

“I do.”

Two words. A bridge. A universe of meaning in two quiet syllables.

_She believes me._

Lena believed that Kara knew her to be good. She knew that Kara cared.

_She believes me_.

Kara was suffused with a warmth she had not felt for a long time.

“Kara? Would you…can you tell me about…you? How you got here? I’m not sure what I know any more.”

Kara nodded.

“My name,” she began, sitting up just a little straighter, “is Kara Zor-El. I was thirteen when I was evacuated from Krypton in a pod just before the planet’s destruction, sent to protect my cousin, Kal – Superman – but my pod got knocked off course. By the time I got here, Kal was grown up and I…I was just a girl without a planet.” Kara shrugged. “The Danvers family took me in, and Alex…well, now I can’t imagine life without her as a sister. So, I became Kara Danvers and promised not to use my powers.”

She liked talking about this with Lena. It was freeing. Beautifully, terrifyingly liberating.

“Of course, then Alex had to get on a plane doomed to crash, and so Supergirl was born – label courtesy of Cat Grant.” Kara looked puzzled for a moment, furrowing her eyebrows. “You know, I really didn’t like that name when she first came up with it but…it’s definitely grown on me.”

Her face stretched into a smile, and with delight she noticed the flicker of one dancing across Lena’s faced. It had been so long since she’d seen Lena have any sort of happiness. She’d missed seeing it – her eyes would crinkle first, then her lip twitching into an involuntary curve.

_Oh, how I’ve missed that smile!_

“You never answered my question.”

“What question?” Kara was confused. She’d tried to answer everything she could.

“From the voicemail,” Lena clarified, finally setting her empty mug on the coffee table. “Why would you step in front of the gun if you didn’t have your powers?”

_Because I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life._

“Did you think I stepped in front of bullets for you because I’m bulletproof?” Kara smiled a wry smile. “I’ll always protect you, Lena. I mean it.”

Lena dipped her head to avoid showing the thin film of mist that settled onto her eyes. She didn’t fool Kara though, who slid over to where Lena was sitting and pulled her into a hug, wrapping her arms securely around Lena’s shoulders and resting her cheek on the top of Lena’s head. Soft, floral scents drifted up to meet her nose.

_New shampoo? It smells fantastic_.

Lena responded by gripping tightly around Kara’s waist, melting into the warmth of the hug. It felt comfortable, natural. Neither moved, for a while. Everything was out in the open, and there was finally a real sense of peace and potential that restored a great deal of Kara’s hope. When Lena sat up, disentangling herself from Kara’s arms, it was for a very important question.

“Are you hungry?”

_Starving._

“I could eat.”

“Do you want to…grab some food?” Lena suggested hesitantly.

“I would love to, but there’s one little problem.”

Lena tilted her head in question.

“A lot of people know Kara Danvers get shot. It might be a _little_ suspicious going from bleeding out to walking around in a few days.” Kara grimaced. “I supposed I can’t exactly be seen outside for a little while.”

“Right,” said Lena, understanding at once. “Ordering food in then.”

She automatically looked for her phone before remembering it had been the victim of a drunken rage. Kara was already offering Lena hers as a replacement.

“Thanks”, said Lena, scrunching her face up in embarrassment. She began to look for the menus for her favorite local spots, but stopped, looking at Kara with so much sadness and intensity that Kara believed she might melt on the spot.

“We’ll work this out, right?” The fear in her voice was evident.

“Together,” replied Kara, her happy heart fueling her beaming smile.


	9. What Makes A Family

The coffee table was strewn with takeout containers, most of which were empty after having fallen swiftly to the onslaught of a Kryptonian appetite. Kara was on the couch; her crossed legs were tucked underneath her, her glasses rested on top of her head for safekeeping. She was still intently tucking into a carton of lo mein, pausing only to answer Lena’s questions before snatching at more noodles with her chopsticks. Kara was determined to clear up as many of the cases of dual-identity as Lena could bring to mind. Lena, meanwhile, detective mode activated, furrowed her brows as she articulated each of her questions with gentle jabs from a long-forgotten spring roll.

“....So...the alien detection device? Why didn’t that work on you?”

“Oh. I fried that when you weren’t looking. Sorry about that.”

Lena’s mouth hung agape. “That device cost _millions_ of dollars.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Kara looked at her sheepishly. She saved herself from needing to elaborate by shoving a large ball of noodles into her mouth and chewing ferociously.

“And when I was poisoned, the dream I had of you flying…”

“Not a dream.” Food muffled the response.

“Don’t you have a suit made for flying rescue missions across the city? So that humans don’t have dreams about their definitely-human friends flying them across the city in their definitely-human clothes?”

Kara swallowed quickly and stumbled as she spoke. “Well, yes, but…”

“Doesn’t it take you like a second to change? Or are you just forgetful?” Lena’s eyes crinkled in a smile, her right eyebrow creeping up in question.

“Yes, but...I was worried. I didn’t think–” She stopped suddenly as she realized she was being teased. “ _Wow_ . You save a girl from poisoned coffee _one time_ and now _everyone’s a critic_.” She jabbed her chopsticks into her food in mock fury, but she misjudged and speared through the bottom of the container. Sauce seeped slowly out of the hole, and Kara tucked it into one of the empty cartons to curb the mess. “Oops.”

Lena couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness as Kara swabbed at the drips with a napkin. Kara smiled broadly in return. She liked making Lena laugh.

“Does that happen a lot?” Lena asked curiously.

“Not really any more. It used to, a lot – the Danvers family drywall budget skyrocketed right after I arrived – but I’ve got a hang on it now. Although,” she paused, thoughtfully. “I did break the dial on the bike I used at that spin class we went to. I felt bad about that.”

“And I’m guessing you didn’t have that muscle cramp, either?” Her eyebrow twitched upwards again. Lena’s face was so very expressive when she allowed it to be. Fascinating.

“No,” Kara chuckled. “Supergirl emergency.” 

Lena sank back, chewing absentmindedly on the spring roll still held in her hand.

“Now I think about it,” Kara started, “there’s something else I lied to you about.”

She noticed Lena tense slightly and hurried to clarify.

“No, no, it’s not bad. You asked me once what quantum entanglement was. I said I didn’t know, because Kara Danvers – proud recipient of a B.A. in Marketing, thank you very much – probably wouldn’t. I got used to hiding what I know. Truth is, I was about to be one of the youngest people ever inducted to the science guild on Krypton. I’m not on your level of genius –” _is she blushing?_ “– but I like to think I hold my own. Even with some of this foreign earth science.” Kara winked at Lena who was looking awestruck.

“So you really are Supergirl? Pulitzer-winning-scientist-hero. Is there anything you don’t do?”

Kara looked sad for a moment, dropping her gaze to her lap.

“I’m _really_ bad at cooking,” she admitted glumly.

Lena’s tinkling laugh was cut off by an abrupt knock at the door. Kara turned to scan the outside corridor before wincing and pushing herself slowly to her feet.

“Ah. Shoot.”

“What is it?”

“Alex,” said Kara as she headed towards the door. “Give me a sec?”

Lena stiffened and nodded, but Kara was already moving past her towards the doorway. With a hand on the handle, she took a deep breath and turned it, opening the door to her sister’s impatient form.

“I’m really going to need you to stop running off on me,” Alex began. “Can I come in?”

Kara shot a look over her shoulder, and Lena nodded in affirmation. Kara stepped back to allow her sister to pass, stopping to squeeze her in a tight hug as she drew level. She only let go when Alex began to pat gently on her shoulder for release. Alex met Kara’s eyes and swallowed, taking a breath before turning to where Lena sat on the couch fidgeting with her hands.

“Lena?” 

Kara was relieved to hear that the voice coming from her sister was far gentler than the one that she’d overheard at the DEO.

“Alex.”

“I– do you mind if I sit?” Alex said hesitantly.

“Go ahead.” Lena’s voice was steady, even, and devoid of any of the emotion that had filled it during her conversation with Kara. The walls were back.

Alex and Kara both moved towards the couch and sat, Alex sparing a quick look of amazement at the volume of takeout evidence on the coffee table. The silence only lasted a moment before Alex broke it.

“Lena, I owe you an apology.”

Both Lena and Kara looked at her with surprise; on a list of things they were expecting Alex Danvers to say, ‘sorry’ was not one of them.

“Kara texted me that you seemed to have worked some things out, so I thought it was only fair I said my piece. It wasn’t your fault Kara got hurt, I know that. I was scared, and frustrated, and I lashed out at you. I shouldn’t have been so unkind when you only came to see how she was doing. I’m sorry.”

“I–”

“Hold on, please, I’m not done.”

Lena’s hands stopped fidgeting as she nodded for Alex to continue. 

“I can’t apologize for what I had to do before Crisis. I had a responsibility to protect my agents and the city, and I made the best choices I could make at the time. I can’t regret that. But,” she conceded, “I should have tried to talk to you sooner. I assumed it was handled because it was Kara’s secret identity and she came clean, but I lied to you too. And I was so ready to believe the worst in you because sometimes that’s how I need to operate to keep people safe. But I know how that must have felt for you. I called you family and never acted like it. So I’m sorry.”

A stunned silence stretched, Kara quickly glancing between Lena and Alex, eyes wide. Lena’s head had been down, staring at her fingers in her lap, and when she looked up her eyes watered with restrained tears.

“Have you met my family?” Lena responded with a weak smile. “A Luthor would do worse than that before breakfast.” She swiped gently at her nose with the back of her index finger. “Thank you, Alex. It means a lot to hear you say it. And I’m sorry my behavior gave you the hard choices to make.”

Kara was beaming.

“And don’t worry,” Lena said. “I’m done with Lex. I didn’t think he’d change, exactly, but I thought he might at least not try and kill me again.”

“Actually,” Alex shared a glance with Kara, a hint of an apology in her eyes, before continuing, “I might have an idea. But it would involve working with him for a little longer.”

Lena cocked an eyebrow.

“He doesn’t know that _you know_ he’s behind the experiments. He’s virtually untouchable now he made himself a hero, but if you could find out what he was doing, be the eyes and ears…”

“We’d have a chance to bring him down,” Lena agreed.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Kara interjected. “You want to use her as a spy? When he’s already set two crazy people after her? What if he finds out? Come on, you can’t be serious.” Kara folded her arms and shook her head quickly. “No. I won’t allow it. It’s not safe.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Won’t allow it? That’s rich coming from someone who let themselves become swiss cheese recently by jumping into danger.” Kara spluttered, and Lena continued over her objections. “I want to make sure he can’t hurt anyone again. What’s the plan?”

***

“Check. You’re distracted, my boy. You left yourself wide open.”

“Well, mother, it’s easy to be distracted when someone just tried to kill Lena.” Lex shifted a piece to protect his king. “She’s the key to the plan. She _can’t_ be driven back towards Supergirl, and if she dies before finishing her project then everything is _ruined_.”

“So go to her,” suggested Lillian, sliding her bishop forward in offense. “Make sure she’s on your side. Maybe together you can find out who wants her dead. If you protect her, she has no need for the Kryptonian. Check.”

“The Kryptonian,” Lex sneered. “I worked too hard for them to make up now.” He shifted a piece once more. “No. She’ll come back to me. I’m the only one who can help her with her project and she knows it. And if she needs a push in the right direction…I can manage that.”

“I know you can,” said Lillian. “I have no doubt.” She moved her queen to cut off his king’s retreat. “Checkmate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a while coming, but I had no idea where I was going with it for a quick minute and thesis work cut into the time! The rest is planned out now, and a bit of a break at the end of the semester, so hopefully will be able to write a bit quicker now! Thanks for reading!


	10. Trust

_I’ll be close and listening; if Lex tries_ anything, _I’ll be there before you know it._

Lena was perched alone on the plush back seat of her chauffeured car, fiddling anxiously with the tips of her fingers. She was nearing Lex Luthor’s newest estate on the outskirts of National City; acquired, she assumed, through a convenient re-write of the end of the world. She only knew that it lacked the cloaking technology of Lex’s previous residence. It acted as a more public base of operations, but she hadn’t yet had need to visit, preferring instead to conduct any conversation at either L Corp – _Luthor Corp_ , she corrected herself, seething – or the DEO. Lena expected it would be as imposing and ostentatious as anywhere her brother might call home. For one so obsessed with the intricacies and minutiae of his intellectual pursuits, his extravagant taste surely left something to be desired.

Before she left her apartment, Kara had argued vociferously against Lena meeting with Lex on his turf. Lena had explained that Lex was likely to feel more confident if he was approached at home, and that the success of the operation depended on his belief that Lena was with him one hundred percent. Alex quickly approved the logic, and Kara had been outnumbered; when Lena had also declined comms, Kara had been apoplectic. Here, Alex had understood immediately and offered the explanation. The likelihood that Lex would notice was too great; then, not only would Lena be in danger, but they would lose any advantage that would help them uncover Lex and Leviathan’s plans. In grudging agreement, Kara had insisted on staying nearby and monitoring with her hearing.

_If Lex tries anything, I’ll be there before you know it._

Lena had been touched. Having finally reached a compromise of sorts, they’d planned for some contingencies. Lena, however, _may_ have forgotten to mention that the defenses around the manor would probably be calibrated to block both Kryptonian sight and hearing – if she had mentioned it, she doubted whether Kara would have agreed to the plan in the first place.

Was she out there already? Lena wondered if Kara could see her. She stilled her hands, just in case. It couldn’t hurt to project confidence.

She glanced out the window just as the car turned down a broad avenue. There were few other houses here, positioned in expansive grounds and enclosed by a daunting combination of walls and fences that were designed to segregate the wealthy occupants from the world. Lena remembered a childhood behind those fences; distant, cold. Lonely. She much preferred her apartment in National City; she could go to her balcony, close her eyes, and breathe in the city. With that breath she could feel the life of the millions of souls that lived, worked, loved, and struggled around her. Even if she would always stand apart as a Luthor, at least she wasn’t alone.

The car slowed as it turned up a narrow drive and approached the gate. The car was clearly recognized, as the gate slowly retracted, allowing them entry. As they rolled forward, Lena rushed an apology under her breath.

“I’m sorry, Kara,” she said. “You won’t be able to hear me in here. But I’ll be fine – don’t worry.”

She hoped she was listening.

***

Kara watched the car approach its destination with trepidation; she took a quick x-ray glance into the car, and noted Lena sitting very still on the backseat. She wished more than anything that she could go in with her, but she forced herself to be patient. She turned her attention to the manor; Lex was ostentatious to a fault. The monstrosity of a building occupied prime real estate, backing on to the city harbor. The grounds were heavily forested for privacy, which comforted her not one bit. She attempted to scan the house but recoiled as her vision flashed and blurred. Something blocked her x-ray vision. She desperately turned her ears to the house, but the whole area inside the gate was muffled as through cotton wool. She widened her eyes and inhaled sharply.

“Lena…”

As if she’d been summoned, Kara heard a quiet voice from the car that had just reached the gate.

“I’m sorry, Kara. You won’t be able to hear me in here. But I’ll be fine – don’t worry.”

Kara watched helplessly as the car trundled onto the estate and out of her protection.

***

“Long time, no see, sister dearest,” Lex said as he handed her a glass of whisky. He took a sip from his own glass before sitting in a large armchair, crossing one ankle over his knee, and resting his drink in his hands. He sighed with satisfaction before nodding towards Lena. “It’s not poisoned, you know. I’m a changed man,” he said with a wink.

Lena ducked her head, took a deep draft of the amber liquor, and stepped stiffly towards the window. Looking out at the deepening evening sky calmed her; she could forget for a moment that this room had been made as an almost exact replica of their childhood parlor. She shrank in the room’s embrace, feeling her years of experience and growth trickle away in the face of the rushing memories. The last time they shared a space like this, Lena had been betrayed, drugged, and abandoned. This was surely just another one of Lex’s perverted mind games, but Lena forced herself to breathe, and focus on the outside world. She wasn’t that lost child, and she would no longer allow herself to fall for his tricks.

“You haven’t been in to work for a few days.”

Lena turned to face the voice.

“No. You may have heard,” she said with an exaggerated eye-roll, “someone tried to kill me in my office. It wasn’t conducive to productivity.”

“I did hear,” said Lex. “I also heard that Kara Danvers took a bullet for you.”

Lena scoffed. “Took a bullet for me? Hardly. That bullet could have gone anywhere when security barged in.” She stepped towards the couch, forcing her movements to be casual, relaxing into the role. She sat, crossing her legs, and slung one arm to rest lazily over the back; the other hand gently cradled her glass in her lap. “Congratulations, by the way, on hiring perhaps the most ineffective security team I’ve ever been exposed to.”

“Yes, well perhaps more important is that _Kara Danvers_ took a _bullet_.” Lex’s calm façade disguised the burning curiosity that flared under the surface; he may be able to hide the outward signs, but Lena knew her brother’s Kryptonian obsession could never be extinguished. “Kara Danvers _is_ Supergirl—” Lena forced down the flash of rage at the echoing memory “—and those Kryptonians are known for being a little less… _susceptible_ …to mundane things like bullets.”

“You’re the expert,” Lena countered. “But clearly – whatever it is – having powers isn’t enough to keep the city safe. Supergirl couldn’t even protect _one_ person from _one_ bullet. My project is more important now than ever. If people would just stop being so _violent_ , no one would _need_ protection.”

“You went to see her at the DEO.” It was a statement. A test.

“I had to see for myself. If she can’t even protect herself then she’s clearly in over her head.” She leaned forwards, forcing passion into her voice. “Non Nocere is the solution. If everyone had a do no harm directive, there would be no need for these mythical heroes.”

“Why Lena, it sounds almost like you think the world would be better without the Supers,” Lex teased.

“Well…maybe it would.”

A silence followed the statement. Neither Luthor expression betrayed further feelings.

“You’ve heard of Leviathan?” said Lex finally, uncrossing his leg and leaning his weight back in his seat.

“Of course,” responded Lena.

“They are behind some of the biggest disasters the world has ever seen. Aliens masquerading as gods. Controlling how humans must live their lives. The very antithesis of do no harm. _Countless_ human lives destroyed.”

“Your point?”

“Sometimes, gods must fall.”

Lena took a sip of her drink, contemplative. Lex continued, pressing his advantage.

“I’ve begun to build some sort of rapport with their leader, Gamemnae. With a sign of good faith, we will be admitted to their inner circle,” he explained. “Once we get there…with _your_ research, we can control the controllers, and end this without bloodshed. Take their boot from humanity’s neck once and for all.”

“Non Nocere doesn’t work as a mind control device,” said Lena, furrowing her brows. “And I’m not sure it would work well enough for this ‘sign of good faith’ you need.”

“That’s why you have me, Lena,” said Lex, smiling broadly. “With a few modifications to your Q-wave patterns, we can target both memory and self-control.” Lena thought about Jess and Ryan Plummer and had to swallow her revulsion. “Leviathan want Supergirl out of the way. If we can prove that the tech works to keep her under control, they will have to accept us. And when we unseat the gods, humanity will finally have the guardians it needs.”

Lena’s hands fidgeted in her lap. She stared at them, desperately trying to make sure she didn’t do anything to blow her cover. The man made her sick; his god-complex was unparalleled, his existence was a danger to this world. To Kara.

“And Supergirl will never hurt you again.”

Lena looked up at him then, a tear escaping down her cheek. He met her gaze with such kindness and sincerity. She was four again, welcomed to the house by a young boy with intelligent eyes and a manner beyond his years. He was her biggest source of comfort and her leading cause of pain. She _hated_ him. Years of manipulation. Of fake sincerity. She nodded to him, the action betraying her mind that was screaming for her to run as far and as fast as possible.

“What do we have to do?”

***

She couldn’t stop shaking.

Kara refused to move from her post, and when she finally saw Lena’s car exit the boundary of the estate, she instantly focused in on the occupants. Lena was in the back, alone, and shaking. Kara could hear her heartbeat racing, pummeling her ribcage with its intensity. Her breathing was harsh, but she was taking deliberate and steadying gulps of air. Soon, the sounds of both breath and heart quieted to levels approaching normal, and the shakes calmed. Kara focused on her, eagle-eyed, the entire drive back to Lena’s apartment building.

When the car finally entered the parking garage, she landed on Lena’s balcony to begin an anxious wait. When the apartment door opened and Lena’s face came into view, Kara took a large breath of relief. She knocked gently, trying not to scare the occupant. When Lena looked up, Kara waved, and pointed to the door lock exaggeratedly.

 _Can I come in?_ she mouthed.

“It’s open,” replied Lena, her quiet response clear to Kryptonian ears.

Kara was already stumbling over questions as she slid the door open. Part of her warmed that Lena left the balcony unlocked for her – the other wanted to shake her for leaving it open and leaving herself vulnerable.

“Are you ok? Did he hurt you? Why didn’t you tell me about the shields on the estate? You had me worried sick!”

“If I’d _told_ you, you wouldn’t have let me go.” _Damn right, I wouldn’t!_ “But I’m OK. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before. And,” she continued, stressing it with two raised eyebrows and a slight tip of the head, “we wouldn’t have any new information if I didn’t.”

Kara crossed her arms and grumbled. “Well, I still don’t have to like it.”

“No,” said Lena, stepping towards Kara, “you don’t have to like it. But I think I have an idea.” The space between them closed, and Lena stopped just before Kara, meeting her eyes with an almost pleading intensity. “It’s a lot to ask right now, I know,” she said. “But you’d have to do everything I say. Do you trust me?”

Kara didn’t hesitate. She grabbed Lena’s hand, warm and soft in her own, and squeezed it gently.

“I trust you.”


	11. Trial By Kryptonite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: self harm/ abuse (via mind control, not self-chosen), please decide what's best for you

“Human trials over the last couple of days were a success,” Lena explained, “and I re-calibrated it for Kryptonian DNA. She shouldn’t remember a thing afterwards and should be very susceptible to suggestion as long as the Q-Waves are active.” She pulled a small device from her pocket to demonstrate. “Flick this—” she pointed to the small switch on its side “—and it will activate. This one is calibrated to my mental configuration, but if it works as planned it is reproducible.”

“So, when she gets here, I’ll start talking, and you do your thing.” Lena and Lex were in his office at the DEO, chosen instead of the typical conference room for the privacy afforded by the lack of a glass wall. He cleared his throat and tapped at a device that was reminiscent of an old intercom system, but it was designed to broadcast at a frequency that would make the message noticeable to Kryptonian hearing.

“Supergirl, report to my office, please.”

A few moments of silence passed before a rush of wind in the corridor indicated Supergirl’s arrival. She barged the door open unceremoniously and swept into the room, her cape settling behind her with a flutter. Supergirl cut an impressive figure; the traces of timidity and awkwardness that were so characteristic of Kara Danvers dissolved into calm confidence and a quiet grit that exuded from her muscular frame. Lena’s breath hitched as Supergirl spared a brief glance in her direction, eyes cold and unforgiving, before she turned to focus on Lex. She oozed power, and Lena had the sudden realization that she had never truly seen this side of Supergirl before; her behavior had previously been softened by a layer of concern, either for Lena’s safety or for her redemption. She was grateful that this strength had never been levelled at her in its entirety; she had faced Supergirl’s restraint, but she pitied anyone on the receiving end of the quiet rage that dripped from those world-carrying shoulders. Supergirl crossed her arms and faced up Lex with pursed lips and a stubborn chin.

“What do you want, Lex? I’m not a lapdog.”

Lex sat back in his chair, touching the tips of his finger together before him.

“No, but you are an employee of the DEO,” he said smugly, “and just in case you forgot – I’m in charge now, remember? I have a mission for you.”

“Well what’s _she_ doing here?” Her icy voice cut through Lena, but Supergirl’s steely gaze remained focused on the man behind the desk.

“Now, now— is that how you greet an old friend?”

Lena put her hands in her pockets nonchalantly, and her right fingers curled around a small, metallic device. Her thumb grazed a switch, and she smoothly flicked it to the on position.

“Just tell me—”

Supergirl’s voice faded out mid-sentence, her eyes becoming glazed and unfocused. Lena looked to her brother, meeting his questioning eyebrow with a nearly imperceptible nod.

“Supergirl?” he said, waving for her attention. “Anyone home?”

There was no response; the blue figure remained unmoving and silent.

“Well?” Lex said, turning properly to Lena this time. “Are you going to test it?”

Lena cleared her throat with a soft cough, fidgeting with the device in her pocket.

“Sit down.”

Supergirl disregarded the chair and flopped straight to the floor, sitting almost child-like on her cape.

“Stand up.”

Supergirl jumped to her feet, quick to obey.

“Jump. Spin around. Hover. Sit in the chair.”

Supergirl completed each of the requested moves in turn, her blank face belying her body’s eagerness to comply. When she finally settled into the small chair on the opposite side of the desk, Lex’s face cracked into a broad smile. He jumped up, clapping, bubbling with energy as he rounded the desk.

“Lena, you have _outdone_ yourself!”

He laughed and approached the still figure before him. He plucked at the cape, and – emboldened by the lack of reaction – lifted Supergirl’s arm to her side. When he dropped it and it fell back to the arm of the chair with a soft _thud_ , he met Lena’s eyes with delight. She returned his smile, but he had already turned back to Supergirl. He picked up her arm once again and twisted it so that her limp hand collided with her unflinching cheek, once, twice, three times.

“Why are you hitting yourself?” he asked, with all too much infantile glee.

Lena felt sick.

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” he said, once again releasing the arm and this time returning to his seat. “These Kryptonians pretend to be so serious and dignified. You seem to have her on a tight leash, Lena. Great work.”

“Well, we know it works,” said Lena, “otherwise you’d probably be full of laser holes by now.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Lex waved her off as he slid open a desk drawer and withdrew a small box. “Just one more test left.”

He placed the box on the table and turned it so that the opening faced Supergirl. Unclipping the clasps with dexterous fingers, he gently lifted the lid. The contents glowed sickly green. Kryptonite.

“Let’s see what’s stronger,” said Lex with a menacing smile. “Your Q-Waves or the natural instinct for self-preservation. Make her pick it up.”

Threads of green were already snaking across Supergirl’s features, the radiation impacting her physiology even without physical contact. Lena, face unreadable, swallowed before giving the order.

“Supergirl?” The blue eyes that connected with her own were empty. Fear may have flickered across them, but it vanished so quickly Lena wondered if she had even seen it at all. “Pick up the Kryptonite.”

Still holding Lena’s gaze, Supergirl stretched out a steady hand into the box before her. There was no sign of panic or resistance in her deliberate movements, and when her hand withdrew from the container it clutched a delicate knife with a lustrous green blade. Lena covered her sharp inhale with a cough.

“Make her hold the blade to her other hand.”

Supergirl refused to break eye contact, and Lena continued to meet her gaze.

“Do what he says.”

The knife came to rest with the tip poking into the meat of her hand. A small bead of blood welled where the point pressed down on soft flesh. Green spread from the contact, like dye dripped on clean cloth.

“Now make her cut.” Lex’s expression was indecipherable, but malevolence rolled of his tongue.

Lena paused. If Supergirl had any physical reaction, it was completely suppressed. Her breathing was steady and even, her eyes trusting as she awaited instruction from Lena.

“Cut your hand.”

The knife flashed across pale skin, leaving a trail of red and green swirling across Supergirl’s palm. Her face remained calm, stark contrast to the angry gash in her skin.

Lena’s hand clenched tightly in her pocket.

“Well, well,” began Lex. “You are quite the miracle-worker, Lena. Now Supergirl is under our control, and soon enough the rest of the alien dictators will follow.” Lena forced herself to look at him and smile.

Blood still dripped slowly to the floor.

“You can make her put it back, now,” Lex instructed. “And be a doll and give her a moment to firm up again before you release her, won’t you? We wouldn’t want her getting suspicious, would we?”

Lena did as she asked, and she watched as Supergirl returned the knife to the box with a deliberate slowness. When the lid was closed, the green in her veins dissipated almost instantly. It was a matter of seconds before the cut knitted together, and there was no sign of injury but a slight red stain that clung to the ridges of her palm. Lex tossed Lena a packet of wipes from the desk; he’d clearly come prepared to cause injury.

Lena hated him.

“And clean that up, will you?” He rocked back in his seat; his eyes closed with an almost blissful satisfaction.

Gently, ever so gently, Lena knelt before the unmoving figure in the opposite chair and drew the healed extremity towards herself. She steadied it with her own left hand, her fingers curling tenderly around Supergirl’s wrist for support. Despite the lack of a physical wound, Lena was delicate when she dabbed at the dried blood, cleaning with a care she hoped would appear simply meticulous. When she was done, she gave a soft, imperceptible press with the pad of her left thumb before standing and returning to her original position.

“Put her back where she started, then cut the Q-waves.”

Lena complied, and with her instructions she soon she had Supergirl positioned, arms folded, where she had been when she arrived. Slipping her hand into her pocket, she flipped the switch with soft _click_ , and Supergirl’s scowl returned.

“Just tell me what you want, Lex.”

“You know what?” he responded. “I changed my mind. I don’t think that’s the attitude we need here today.”

Supergirl threw her hands up and growled in frustration, before turning on her heel and storming from the room. When the remnants of a gust of wind drifted through the doorway, Lex proclaimed that he would take the news to Leviathan as evidence of the strength of their potential contributions.

“Good,” replied Lena, fighting down the nausea with approval on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to include other parts to this chapter, but honestly by the time I'd finished dealing with Lex I was too frustrated to write more! Hope you enjoy (?) this chapter.


	12. When It Rains

Lena fought the instinct to run immediately to Kara’s apartment; the risk of being seen doing so was too great. Instead, she finished up business at the DEO. Her body continued the charade of compliance, but her mind was fixed on one thing: Kara.

Non Nocere didn’t work. It never had.

Lena could think of nothing worse than allowing mind-altering technology to fall into the hands of her sociopathic brother. The plan was simple: fake it. Fake it, cause a rift between Lex and Leviathan. Use the evidence of his involvement to put him behind bars where he belonged, and halt Leviathan’s project in its tracks. Then, with a bit of breathing room, they could work on taking the group down for good.

Faking the human trials was easy; there was little that someone wouldn’t say or do for the right price. A few thousand dollars in the right pockets, an agreement to follow instructions, and a willingness to forget everything that happened. Easy. Phase one of trials had gone as planned, and between the fabricated results and smooth assurances from Lena herself, Lex was willing to move to phase two: Kryptonian trials. There would be no written results that would satisfy her brother, this time; he would need to see for himself that Supergirl was controllable with the Q-wave technology. And for that to happen, Supergirl would have to follow every instruction Lena gave her. She would have to trust Lena.

It was a trust exercise from hell.

The premise was simple: The Non Nocere device may not be functional, but the soft click of a switch would be audible to Kryptonian ears. With the first _click,_ Kara – Supergirl – would pretend the Q-waves had been activated and follow the instructions, whatever they may be. On the second click, she would return to normal as if she didn’t remember any of the intervening time. Lex wouldn’t doubt the effectiveness of Lena’s project; it wasn’t so great a leap, after all, from the research she had been conducting on the old earth. And with no reason for him to suspect reconciliation, they just had to play their part well and Lex would be assured his plans were still in motion.

 _“Do you trust me?”_ Lena had asked.

Kara had been so earnest, and she hadn’t hesitated for a second in her reply. Lena remembered hands, so soft for all their hidden strength, communicating faith through gentle pressure. She remembered eyes conveying a depth the ocean would envy.

“ _I trust you.”_

A trust that was unwarranted, as once again Lena’s choices had caused Kara harm. For the second time in as many weeks, she had caused a near-invincible being to bleed.

Because of _course,_ her brother wouldn’t be satisfied with mere proof of concept. He was always blind where Kryptonians were concerned. Of _course_ , his personal brand of sanctimonious narcissism would unable to withstand the temptation of a docile Super before him. Lena clung to the knowledge that it was a situation that would never be repeated; everything even faintly related to Non Nocere would be reduced to ash. Kara would never be at his mercy again.

Lena waited as long as she could bear before making her excuses, leaving the DEO for her apartment with as much haste as she could muster. The texts she’d sent to Kara – having replaced her shattered phone two days previously – were going unanswered.

_[4:52] Kara, are you OK?_

_[4:53] I am so sorry._

_[4:54] This is Lena, by the way_

_[4:54] Just in case you don’t have my number any more_

_[4:59] I’ll let you know when I leave. I want to see you._

_[5:12] Leaving the DEO. Can’t head to your apartment, Lex may be watching. Want to know if you’re alright. Please text me back._

No response.

The drive home was torturous. Rain slicked the road; Lena’s frustration grew as their progress slowed, and there was nothing to do but wait anxiously for her building to come into view. She glanced at her phone frequently as if the action itself would make a message appear. There was still no reply.

When the car finally crawled to a halt, Lena jumped out, brushing off the umbrella escort as she hurried inside. The elevator attendant greeted her warmly and they began the smooth ascent to the penthouse level; Lena managed to return a wan smile while her index finger tapped a rapid staccato on her thigh. As the elevator doors opened, she fired a quick text to Alex, hoping that if anyone had seen Kara, it would be her sister. She sent another text to Kara just as she reached her doorway, typing with her left hand as she inserted her key into the lock and twisted the handle with her right.

_Hi, Kara. I’m home. Are you OK?_

Lena tucked her phone back into her pocket as she entered her apartment. Her keys landed with a soft jingle as they were unceremoniously tossed into the waiting bowl, and her shoes and jacket were soon discarded with a similar carelessness. She stepped through to the kitchen and froze.

Faintly visible through the rain-streaked windows were hints of red, blue, and blonde. Looking closer, Lena saw a small figure tucked into the corner of the balcony, knees pulled close to their chest. Their head rested gently on the surface behind them, closed eyes turned to the tumultuous sky, hair plastered haphazardly to pale cheeks.

Lena rushed to the balcony, tearing the throw blanket from the couch as she passed before urgently sliding the doors wide. She dropped beside Kara, wrapping the blanket tightly around the Kryptonian’s shoulders.

“Kara, what are you doing out here?” said Lena, adjusting the throw and holding it closed. “You must be freezing.”

Kara was quiet for a moment; then, without opening her eyes, she released a soft puff of air. The raindrops before her froze instantly, chips of ice falling to the ground with a whisper.

“The cold doesn’t bother me.”

“Oh,” said Lena, eyes wide, awkwardly dropping her hands as she left the blanket alone. She wasn’t sure what she’d been thinking, anyway; she should have stopped to grab an umbrella, maybe a rain jacket – both she and the blanket had been soaked through by the downpour in short order. “Right.”

She turned to settle down next to Kara, pressing her back to the wall as she sat. Kara blinked her eyes open and glanced sideways.

“Thank you, though,” she said with a tired smile, pulling the blanket closer.

“What are you doing out here?” Lena repeated. “The door was open.”

“I know, I just…” Kara trailed off as she looked up once more to the sky. “It didn’t rain like this on Krypton,” she said.

Lena waited.

“I remember when I first got to earth, the first time it rained – and I mean, really _rained_ – I hated it,” she continued. “It was so…inconvenient. Like, an ocean was falling from the sky and it was just _normal_? No. I didn’t like it.” Kara fidgeted with the corners of the blanket as she spoke. “I hated the sound of it, too. That was before I really knew how to control my hearing, so it was just a constant _buzzing_ , like TV static. When it rained, the whole experience was so foreign. I was constantly reminded of the home I’d left behind.”

While she spoke, droplets of rain alighted on her skin, coalescing into rivulets that carved down her cheek. Lena watched in silence as water caressed Kara’s jaw and dripped to the ground.

“Do you know what Kryptonite is?” Kara asked suddenly, turning to look at the woman beside her. Lena wished she could soothe the pain in those troubled eyes. She answered, hesitant.

“It’s a substance that emits a radiation that is particularly dangerous to Kryptonians.”

“No,” said Kara with a soft shake of her head. “That may be what it _does_ , but it’s not what it _is_.”

She turned away again, gazing at nothing, lost in thought. Lena watched her, concerned.

“Krypton’s core was radioactive. Between the planet and the red sun, radiation was maintained in delicate balance. But when the planet exploded, all those shards of Krypton were irradiated by the core’s energy and flung into space.” Kara inhaled a shaky breath. “Kryptonite is dangerous, yes. It can kill me. But when I see it, all I see is the remnants of my shattered people.” Tears mingled indistinguishably with raindrops. “What was it before it got to earth? How many of my ancestors walked across the stone that hurtled _lightyears_ through space just to poison the last survivors of a doomed planet?”

Lena’s heart was breaking. So much pain carried for so long. It was a burden no one should have to bear.

“I learned to appreciate the rain,” Kara said, closing her eyes. “It’s cleansing. When it’s raining, I can almost forget.”

There was nothing she could say that could even begin to suffice. She reached over to take Kara’s hand in her own, giving it a firm squeeze. Kara didn’t look up, but Lena felt a gentle return of pressure.

“Kara, I am so sorry for everything you’ve had to go through,” said Lena, her voice low. “And I am so, _so_ sorry you were hurt because of me.”

Kara ducked her head, hiding fresh tears.

“I didn’t know he would use Kryptonite,” she persisted. “But he’s Lex. I should have known better. You trusted me and I should have protected you. I am so sorry.”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for my weakness.”

“Weakness?” Lena challenged softly. “Kara,” she said, lifting her free hand to Kara’s cheek, gently encouraging her to turn her head. She looked into eyes that held a lifetime of sorrow. “Living through things that no one should have to experience isn’t weakness. It’s a sign of your strength.”

Kara’s lip began to tremble. She tried to look away, but Lena held her gaze.

“It’s normal to be scared when things are scary,” said Lena, reaching up to tuck a damp strand of hair behind Kara’s ear. “You’re still the strongest person I know. I mean,” she said, awestruck, “I still can’t believe you did what you did earlier, and I saw it with my own eyes. You didn’t even flinch. You are…extraordinary,” she breathed. Her thumb, still resting on Kara’s check, wiped away a fresh tear, although with the rain still pouring it made little difference. She leaned in, touching forehead to forehead, and closed her eyes.

“If I could take away your pain, I would,” said Lena. “But please, just know: I’m here for you, now. I’m not going anywhere.”

Kara’s reluctance wavered and she sank down onto Lena’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around her mid-section and hugging her tight. Lena grunted slightly from the strength of the embrace, and Kara recoiled, ashamed.

“Lena, I—”

“Oh, come here,” said Lena, as she pulled her back in. “I won’t break.”

Kara released a terse laugh and settled back down. “No offense,” she sniffed, “but humans are fragile.”

“Well,” said Lena, raising one eyebrow and looking down at the Kryptonian nestled in her arms, “how many humans have you broken?”

Kara looked down quickly, spluttering excuses. Something about noses, toes, and _definitely_ all accidents.

Did she _blush?_

Everything was still for a moment as the laughter faded, save for the rain that continued to fall, drop by obstinate drop.

“I’m sorry.” Lena still felt swamped by the guilt of causing Kara pain.

“Don’t be,” said Kara, sitting up, taking a deep breath. The stubborn set had returned to her face. “You didn’t know what he would do. And it had to be done. It worked, right?”

“Like a charm,” responded Lena, smiling. “We should be making contact with Leviathan leadership any time now.”

“Good.” Kara nodded, satisfied.

“The idea of the click-switch to use the sound to alert you and not Lex, that was genius. Simple. But very effective.”

Kara winked. “I told you I was good at science.”

Lena laughed, but was startled out of it by an abrupt yell.

“Lena!” exclaimed Kara, picking at Lena’s sodden shirt sleeves, eyes widening with sudden realization as if she had only just noticed the inclement weather. “You’re soaked through! You must be freezing!”

Lena felt the cold rain tunneling through the back of her clothes and couldn’t argue with that assessment.

“Are you ready to go inside?” Lena suggested.

“Yes.” Kara was already standing up, pulling the dripping throw blanket from around her shoulders and holding it aside. She was still in her suit, so when she stood a flood of water cascaded from where it had puddled in her cape. Kara shook herself off and offered Lena an outstretched hand. “Well, partner. Mission success,” she proclaimed as Lena accepted the help and climbed to her feet. “What’s next?”

***

“Mother, it was a wonder to see! Supergirl _willingly_ used Kryptonite on herself and didn’t even remember it happening! I knew Lena had it in her to choose me instead of the filthy Kryptonian.” Lex swirled his scotch, barely able to contain his glee, as he joined his mother seated in the parlor. “Of course,” he said, taking a sip, “my sister may have outlasted her usefulness now that Non Nocere is effective.” Lex sighed heavily. “It’s a shame really. She showed promise today,” he conceded with a tilt of his head, “but I don’t think she truly believes in a mission. She still thinks violence, can be cured – like there’s a cure for the human condition!” His laugh was a rough bark, hollow and devoid of humor.

“She’s an optimist, dear,” scolded Lillian gently. “Too long around that message of hope, I’m sure.”

“Well,” Lex responded, “the only thing being cured is the alien influence on this planet. And when Leviathan fall, humanity will look to the Luthors for saving.” His lip curled up, eyes radiating smug satisfaction. “Lena can get on board, or she can be the loveable martyr tragically killed by a rampaging Super. As far as hope goes, I _hope_ she’ll choose wisely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Found this chapter really tough; struggled to get the tone I was looking for so it took a little longer to write than I expected!


	13. A Luthor in the Tower

It was actually going pretty well, all things considered.

When she’d called a meeting at the tower and brought Lena with her, Kara hadn’t exactly been expecting a warm welcome. So far, though, there had yet to be any shouting, screaming, or fighting, so overall it was going pretty well indeed. Of course, the meeting hadn’t actually start yet, so she supposed there was still time. They were still waiting for Alex to arrive, so the room was stuck in an awkward, silent limbo. Kara and Lena still hovered just inside the entryway. The two had made amends, and a truce had even been reached between Lena and Alex, but Kara could tell by the stiff set of Lena’s body and the fidgeting of her hands that meeting up with the group for the first time since her deception was an uncomfortable experience. Kara shot her a reassuring smile.

On the far side of the room, J’onn paced by the window, carving an irritable path over the floorboards. He had chewed down his objections when Kara had arrived with a Luthor in tow, but she could tell they still bubbled under the surface. She perhaps should have asked before bringing Lena to the meeting, but Kara stubbornly thought that if J’onn wanted to keep their location private, he shouldn’t have installed their secret lair above his office – the Martian detective - slash- ex-director of a government organization wasn’t _exactly_ low profile.

Nia was the only other individual present, but despite her initial wary skepticism she didn’t appear overly stressed by the situation; she’d promptly managed to fall asleep in the chair she was waiting in. Kara watched her slight twitching with faint amusement until the door behind them opened and Alex strode into the room spouting her apologies. Nia jolted awake at the sound.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said. “I couldn’t get out of the DEO. Brainy’s covering for me, so he had to stay behind.” She looked back to where Lena was standing apprehensively on the outskirts of the room and smiled. “Glad you could make it.”

“OK, good,” said Kara, “Now that you’re here: we have a lead on Lex. And Leviathan. Lena?”

“Right,” Lena stammered, hesitant. She cleared her throat and drew herself up. “I know you all have little reason to trust me right now—” she was doing an admirable job of keeping the tremor from her voice “—but I want to help take my brother down.”

She took a deep breath, and noting that no one protested her presence, continued more firmly.

“Lex has been in discussions with Leviathan. As far as I know, he wants to bring the group down and replace them with himself. We believe—” she indicated Kara with a nod of her head “—that he was using me to develop technology that would guarantee him entry to their inner circle. Kara and I have convinced Lex that a modified project Non Nocere is viable. He believes with this that he will be invited in by Leviathan, and—”

“Non Nocere?” J’onn interrupted.

Taken aback by the sudden question, Lena hesitated before answering. “Non Nocere – do no harm – was designed to use Q-waves to—”

“It was the project you kidnapped my brother for.” It wasn’t a question.

“I—yes.” Lena lowered her gaze unable to meet those accusing eyes. Kara had no trouble, glaring across the room at J’onn.

“ _But_ ,” Kara jumped in, allowing Lena to sink gratefully back, “her project is the only thing giving us insight into Lex’s plans. He will be set up to fail with Leviathan, and from what we gather, their current plan depends on him. It will give us some time to figure out how to fight them.”

“OK, so what’s the next move?” Alex asked. Kara blessed her sister and her unyielding support.

“Lena needs to head back to her lab so that Lex believes she’s working on a second device. She’ll let us know when he sets a meeting with Leviathan, and then we can make a plan for making sure he gets taken down. In the meantime, we could still do with finding out more about Leviathan themselves. Nia?” she directed her question to the girl stifling a yawn with the back of her hand. “Anything you can dream about Leviathan or this meeting will help. And Alex, if Lex starts acting suspiciously at the DEO, we need to know about it. J’onn, I need your help to keep watch on Lena in case they make a move.”

Alex and Nia nodded their affirmation, but J’onn’s demeanor was stiff, his lips pursed thin above folded arms. He faced Kara, stoic yet faintly disapproving, and a few beats of silence passed before he gave voice to his question.

“Can we speak with you?” he asked Kara, flicking his gaze briefly to Lena. “ _Privately?_ ”

Kara frowned at the insinuation. “Anything you have to say, you can—”

“It’s alright.”

She was interrupted by Lena, who gently waved away the protest with a hand, though the transparent smile plastered on her face did little to disguise her disappointment. “I should really head back to my lab. Science won’t fake itself, after all.”

Kara wavered, saddened, before reluctantly agreeing.

“OK, fine. But don’t get too far,” she said. “I want to make sure no one tries anything.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ll catch up.”

This thin smile was real. Kara smiled back.

Lena stepped out, and Kara waited until her regular hearing could no longer recognize distinct footsteps before spinning to J’onn.

“You didn’t have to kick her out! She’s only trying to help!”

“And you didn’t have to bring a Luthor to the Tower!” he retorted. “I think that’s something that warrants discussion.”

“What discussion? She’s apologized, and you didn’t _see_ her J’onn! I know she means it, and I vouch for her. Does that not mean anything?”

“It means a little less when the last time you vouched for her, she used Kryptonite against you.”

“Who _hasn’t_ used Kryptonite on me?” demanded Kara. To her pleasure, J’onn couldn’t quite meet her eyes. The question was studiously ignored as Alex and J’onn gained a sudden, vested interest in the room’s décor. Nia, however, raised a hand softly, the expression on her face vaguely smug. Upon meeting Alex’s glare, she wrinkled her brows in question.

“What? I haven’t.”

“I think it was rhetorical,” Alex grumbled.

Kara sighed in exasperation.

“Look, J’onn – I know you won’t invade anyone’s mind without permission, but here—” she strode purposefully to where he stood, grabbed his wrist, and drew his hand to her temple. “—I’m giving you permission. See she can be trusted.”

“This is unnecessary,” J’onn said, shaking his head. He motioned to pull his hand away, but Kara’s grip was firm.

“Please.”

There was no arguing with the steel in her eyes.

J’onn exhaled, then nodded a brief affirmative. He softened his touch, settling his fingertips lightly on her skin and closed his eyes, his brow furrowing as he focused. When he opened his eyes a moment later there was an odd expression on his face that flashed away as quickly as it appeared. He shook his head to clear it, letting his arm fall back to his side.

“Well?” said Kara, hands drawn to her hips in impatience.

“I see how you trust her,” J’onn said after clearing his throat. “I hadn’t realized that you felt so strongly about it.” He paused for a moment, eyes searching hers, before he ducked his head in concession. “I’ll defer to your judgement.”

Kara’s features stretched into a broad smile. “Thank you!” she bubbled, enveloping him in a tight embrace. “You won’t regret it,” she assured him confidently, releasing the hug. “I’ll let you know as soon as they set a meeting.”

As she breezed out, Alex turned to J’onn who was still standing as if stunned.

“Do you think she knows?” she asked.

“She has no idea.”

***

Lena had walked perhaps half a block when a black SUV pulled smartly up beside her. Just as she was about to call for help, the door opened to her brother lounging comfortably in the back seat.

 _How the_ hell _did he find me?_

“Well, Lena. It appears your project piqued their interest after all.” He waved, encompassing the car and driver. “Supplied by our dear friends at Leviathan.”

“I think it’s a little premature,” she said. “I don’t have the second device ready yet.”

“Well,” he replied, “it appears that while they were impressed by the results of our test run, they would prefer you conducted your improvements under their direct supervision. Another car was sent to pick up your research, so now we just need you.”

She hesitated, and he patted the seat beside him.

“Get in.”

Resisting the urge to look behind her, Lena climbed in, hoping that Kara would still be able to find her. Until then, she was on her own – and she would play her part.

The ride was long and quiet, the tint of the windows preventing any knowledge of their location. After a while, Lena felt the car drive down a steady decline, and surmised they must be going into some underground complex. Other than that, there was no way to tell how far they had driven, or in which direction. Their reception when the car finally came to a halt was similarly secretive; a silent, suited individual joined their driver to escort them down a nondescript hallway.

Lex leaned in close as they walked.

“You know, Lena, I have to hand it to you. You did a masterful job with those Q-waves.”

Lena laughed coldly. “And I’m sure you’re just saying that because your own experiments didn’t work.”

“My experiments? Lena, this was all you.”

“Really?” she raised an eyebrow as they finally reached a door and were ushered through. She lowered her voice to a harsh whisper. “You won’t even admit you stole my notebooks? I found them in that cozy hidden lab of yours.”

From the expression of confusion on Lex’s face, Lena realized with sudden horror that they may have severely miscalculated.

“I don’t—” Lex looked up as the doors shut behind them, and if anything, his confusion deepened. “Mother?”

Lena followed his gaze. Sitting before them, looking _far_ too comfortable, was Lillian Luthor. She was perched atop an elegant sofa, flanked by two security personnel wearing similar suits to Lena and Lex’s escorts.

Lillian signaled to the man on her right. Almost too quick to follow, he unholstered a pistol and the sound of Lena’s screams mingled with a resounding crack in a barrage of noise.

Lena stood, frozen in terror, as Lex’s body dropped limp to floor beside her.

“Clean that up, won’t you?” Lillian motioned to the man on her left.

Clean that up. _Clean that up_. Lex.

“You’re welcome dear.” This last comment was directed to Lena, whose wide eyes were focused on the growing redness pooling on the floor beside her. She looked up at the voice, her already pale skin stark white in her fear. Lillian patted the cushion of the sofa beside her, unconsciously mimicking the gesture Lex had performed in the car not long before.

Lex. Lex was dead. Lillian killed him.

“Come, sit,” she said directing Lena to the seat. With Lena still paralyzed, Lillian motioned the driver to nudge her along. “Come, now, Lena – Lex told me you shot him yourself in another reality – it’s not like this is new to you. At least this time you don’t have to get your hands dirty.”

Lillian smiled a brilliant smile, but Lena’s brain was still having trouble processing. She allowed herself to be guided towards the sofa, almost falling into her seat.

“He was playing you dear—” Lillian’s voice barely registered. “—and playing Leviathan. Fortunately for you, I was playing him. Here, traitors are punished.”

Lena couldn’t prevent her eyes from flashing towards the body that was being dragged from the room as they spoke.

“He had his chance, but he wouldn’t be content controlling the Supers. You, however, still have a chance to prove yourself. The fool told me himself you weren’t on board with his plans, which is why you are here instead. Do you still believe in do no harm?” Lillian softened. “Through your technology, Leviathan can improve life for all of humanity. The others were convinced that mass-insanity caused by Q-waves would cleanse the world; I knew my daughter would have a better way.”

Lillian placed a hand on Lena’s thigh and looked hopefully into her eyes; Lena resisted the urge to pull away.

“There will be no more need for earthquakes, famine, or disease to control the population. Humanity will be cured of its need to do violence upon one another. Isn’t that what you want?”

She was on her own. She would play her part.

“It is,” she responded with a watery, grateful smile, her terrified heart pounding in her chest. Leviathan were monsters. She would never help them. “More than anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck you, Lex Luthor.


	14. Traitors

Kara was pacing frantically, her persistent footsteps abrading tracks into the floor.

“I was one minute behind her, _one minute!_ ”

The floor groaned softly as a particularly heavy foot thudded to the ground.

“I should’ve made her wait here, I shouldn’t have let her out of my sight, I should’ve…”

“You did nothing wrong,” said J’onn, interrupting.

“Well I wasn’t there to protect her!” Kara argued. “And Brainy hasn’t found any lead on the cameras, you can’t sense her, and Nia hasn’t been able to dream anything about it!”

Nia was sitting quietly in a corner, eyes flickering under closed lids. Upon hearing her name, she opened them with an exasperated sigh, staring pointedly at Kara.

“It might be a little easier if I could _focus_ ,” she said, faint traces of irritation entwined with her tired voice.

Kara huffed and marched to the balcony, stamping firmly up each stair that stood between her and the open door. She paused there, inhaling deeply and closing her eyes to listen. Her eyebrows gathered in focus, as if by concentrating just a _little_ harder Lena’s voice would float back to her on the wind.

Silence.

She growled in frustration and spun around, halting at the railing to clutch it for support.

J’onn steadily made his way up the steps towards her, stopping at her side.

“What if she doesn’t want to be found?” he asked gently.

She glared at him in return. “She wouldn’t have just vanished, J’onn. She wouldn’t have just left me, not now. No,” she shook her head, lips pursed. “This is _Lex,_ I _know_ it. Alex made it back to the DEO and she says he’s nowhere to be found. That—” Kara ground her teeth and clenched her fist, unable to think of a suitable description for Lex Luthor. “We have to do _something_.” Kara pushed on the railing in frustration and stumbled slightly as it buckled under the pressure. J’onn caught her by the elbow.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“There’s nothing to talk about, I just need to find her.”

“We’re doing all we can,” he replied softly. “Alex has Brainy searching every traffic camera in the city, and he’s got the sensors monitoring Q-wave activity – if there’s any spike, we’ll know about it.” He placed a supportive hand on her arm. “Nia is doing her best, but you know dreaming can be unpredictable – it doesn’t always show what you’re looking for when you’re looking for it.”

“I know, I just…” Kara hung her head, unable to vocalize her turbulent thoughts. She took a shuddering breath. “J’onn, I have to find her.”

“We will.”

Kara was still for a moment, unable to look up. When she finally did, her stubborn eyes were red as they met his.

“I’m going to go look, ok? Let me know the second you have something.”

He gave a small nod, but she didn’t see it. She tore out the balcony doors in a rush of wind that left the glass panes rattling.

***

Lena was escorted to a lab by Lillian, who seemed completely unaffected by her part in her son’s death. He’d slipped, apparently, and explained how contentious their mother-son relationship had become on the old earth. Unwilling to allow his power plays to affect her on this world, she had taken care of the problem. It appears Earth-Prime Lillian had only one priority – Leviathan.

“I really am sorry, Lena dear,” Lillian said, “about you being caught in this whole mess. The assassination attempts, that is. Entirely accidental.” She waved her hand flippantly.

 _As if that accident hadn’t almost cost Kara her life_ , Lena thought.

“I’d simply wanted you motivated, that’s all. I knew nothing could push you like your brother, and if that failed, nothing could push you like knowing he was after you. Which he was, technically,” she confirmed with an earnest tilt of her eyebrows. “He told me himself that he didn’t think you were up to the task.”

They stopped before a nondescript door flanked by two security officers; Lillian indicated for them to open it.

“I never thought the test subjects would try to kill you,” she continued. “Lodge a protest, perhaps. Unfortunately, I don’t have quite the affinity with Q-waves that you do, and the experiments drove them quite mad. That’s why we need _you_ , you see.” They entered the room. Lillian slung one arm over Lena’s shoulder and used the other to gesture to the room. “You’re brilliant. You are far more capable than me, or Lex for that matter. Here, we can help your work make a real difference.”

The smile on her face was grating and unnatural, but Lena pretended to find it comforting, returning a slight smile of her own.

“So,” Lena said then, slowly peeling away from her mother to examine the room. “What do you need from me?”

“You’ve heard of Obsidian North, I presume? And their VR rollout?”

News about Obsidian was hard to avoid these days. Avoiding the smug CEO was even harder.

“I’m familiar.”

“Then you may also be familiar with Gemma Cooper, chair of Obsidian’s board.”

Lena nodded affirmation, and Lillian continued.

“Gemma is also known as Gamemnae, current leader of Leviathan’s efforts on earth. With any luck, you won’t have to meet her directly. She has a… _way_ , with technology – less of a way with humans. But through her efforts, Obsidians VR networks are primed for propagating your Q-wave technology to every individual with a pair of Obsidian lenses. In an instant, the whole world could follow the commandment to _do no harm_.” Lillian smiled, broadly. “All thanks to you, Lena.”

_All thanks to me._

Lillian left not long after, allowing her _little genius_ to get to work. Lena stared around the room, a dark windowless lab that was well-equipped with technology but shockingly devoid of anything closely resembling natural light. The equipment from her personal lab had been transferred here, as much use as it was. Not only did it not work, but Lena didn’t want it to. There was no way she could help Leviathan conquer the world as simply as putting in a pair of contacts. No – she would bring the whole project crashing down.

Even if she came crashing down with it.

Hours passed imperceptibly as Lena desperately tried to familiarize herself with how exactly the interface with the lenses was supposed to work. Fortunately, Lena had some experiences tinkering with Obsidian technology; although, the last time she had _personally_ used the technology, she had punched Supergirl into an exploding bus. Repeatedly.

She winced at the memory.

Her eyes burned from exhaustion as she focused on the same white screen, hour after hour, her determination to find some sort of loophole driving her to work with near-inhuman frenzy. There was no way to pretend Non Nocere had worked, that was certain – her project didn’t even work as designed on a single human, never mind a globally-connected community of individuals in virtual reality. From every way Lena examined it, it seemed impossible to separate the lenses’ operational functionality from the Q-waves that enabled it, as the lens technology depended on Q-waves to interface with the mind. And the work of this _Gemma Cooper_ , or whoever she was, caused any of the Non Nocere updates to be rapidly replicated throughout the system. It was a flawless interweaving of Q-waves and the Obsidian servers.

Lena sat up in sudden realization.

_The lenses, the servers, and the Q-waves were all perfectly interlinked._

_Adjustments to the Q-wave input would be replicated through the system_.

Lena almost laughed. Leviathan’s project would fall through their own impeccable design.

She furiously began typing, adjusting the simulation parameters. She removed any testing safeguards, allowing the update to be implemented globally in an instant. They had created the system in such a way that Q-wave input could vary at the individual level without much concern. _But_ , with the connected system, an overload of Q-waves in a single device would continue to transmit through _all_ the devices, multiplying exponentially until the surge disrupted the VR programming and the simulations collapsed. Lena was sure this wouldn’t affect any users in the VR, as she would target the energy surging from the users to the VR simulation itself, and not the return feedback loop to the human brain. At least…she hoped.

She could crush Leviathan’s VR plot. And if she was collateral damage? It was no less than she deserved for starting this mess in the first place.

Lena took a deep breath, her hands finally stilling on the keys. The parameters had been updated. The simulation was ready. She closed her eyes, lifted a finger, and rested it gently on the Enter key. She pressed down.

The effect was almost instantaneous. Various monitors began buzzing with echoing alarms, red warnings flashing aggressively across multiple screens. Lights flickered ominously as the power drain began to tax the building’s generator. Servers began to spark as the surge overloaded fragile components; the sparks became flames, and the flames became smoke, causing the sprinklers to sputter on. Lena sat amidst the chaos in silence. She wasn’t alone for long.

The door slammed open. Lillian burst through; her pale face etched with rage.

_“What have you done?”_

Lena stumbled from her seat, backing away. Accepting the consequences of rebellion had seemed much simpler before the consequences stared her in the face.

“It was a mistake!” she begged, thought she doubted her mother would believe the lie. “I didn’t realize it would go through the whole system! The technology was just too powerful!”

“ _Mistake?”_ Lillian spat. “This was no _mistake_. You’ve ruined _everything_! You’re a traitor to your whole species.”

She reached behind her and drew a gun, slowly raising the barrel to Lena. Her eyes swirled with anger.

“Here, traitors are punished.”

“No, no, I can fix it!” Lena waved her hands in front of her, pleading, as she took one shaky step back after another.

“It’s _far_ too late for that.”

Lena squeezed her eyes shut. She could almost sense the finger curling on the trigger. Time seemed to freeze.

Debris rained down as a force of red and blue crashed through the ceiling. Blue arms wrapped themselves around her, one pulling her tight around the middle and the other tucking her head down, guarding it against debris and stray bullets. Lena found herself nose to crest, stunned, the sound of gunshots almost muted to her ears. She did, however, hear a soft voice as she felt herself be lifted from the ground.

“I’ve got you.”

Lena squeezed her eyes tight again as Kara took off upwards with frightening speed. She felt enclosed by rock as they travelled – they must have been further underground than she realized – before bursting into open air. Lena felt a gentle breeze play with her hair as sun warmed her cheeks. When she opened her eyes at last, she released a sharp yelp and tucked her face back into Kara’s chest. They were _very_ high up.

“Oh. Sorry.”

Lena could almost hear the chagrin in Kara’s voice as they descended slowly. Her feet touched soft grass, and she finally looked out to see that they were on the western outskirts of National City.

Kara hadn’t let go. Lena hugged her tighter.

“How did you find me?” Lena asked. She noticed her voice was still shaking.

“The Q-waves. Brainy was scanning for them and there was a massive surge from these coordinates. I wasn’t sure where the door was, so I just…” Kara used one hand to mimic diving straight through the earth. She quickly returned it to Lena’s side as she murmured into Lena’s hair. “I’m so sorry. I was almost too late.”

“Hey,” said Lena disapprovingly, pulling back a touch to look Kara in the eyes. She hadn’t seen them until now, but was surprised to note they were red. “It was perfect timing. Any sooner and I couldn’t have stopped Leviathan.”

Kara’s mouth hung agape.

“You stopped…” she burst into a giant grin, picking Lena up and spinning her around as if she weighed nothing.

 _Then again,_ reasoned Lena, _having just seen her burst through half a mile of concrete and rock, I probably do weigh nothing._

“Lena, you’re amazing!” Kara laughed, a bright, vibrant laugh that was infinitely more warming than the sun. She stopped spinning, breathing heavily, staring directly into Lena’s eyes with an intensity that was almost disconcerting. Almost.

“You’re amazing,” she continued, voice soft and deep. “I don’t know how you did it, but…”

Lena ducked her head, feeling oddly embarrassed, before she felt compelled to return her gaze to those intense blue eyes.

“It was nothing,” she stammered, “they’re still out there and I’m sure this was just _one_ of their plans, I—”

“Lena,” Kara said, chuckling briefly. “Take the win.”

Looking at the happiness and confidence exuding from the woman before her, Lena couldn’t help but smile back. Time stilled. Lena still felt two hands on her back, her skin under the cloth of her shirt warm under the touch.

She was obviously just still cold from her subterranean adventure. And Kryptonians, it seems, are naturally warm.

It almost seemed as if Kara heard her thoughts, as she quickly dropped her hands and cleared her throat, rocking backwards to her heels. The sudden extra space between them seemed a void when compared to the closeness just a moment ago.

“We should get back to the city. Let everyone know what happened,” said Kara briskly. She seemed intently fascinated by the horizon, keeping her gaze fixed far beyond Lena. “It will be fastest to fly, I’m afraid. Is that ok?”

“That’s fine,” agreed Lena. Anything to feel the closeness again – for warmth, obviously. It had been very cold in that lab, and her hair and clothes were still mildly damp from the sprinklers. It was only natural she’d feel cold.

“Close your eyes,” Kara warned, as she put one arm delicately across the small of Lena’s back and the other underneath her knees, lifting easily. Lena obliged, also putting her own arms around Kara’s neck for stability even though she knew she couldn’t be in safer hands. She felt a brief tension as Kara’s legs flexed for take-off, then a rush of wind as they hurtled into the city.

***

Gamemnae surveyed the room, every line on her face signaling her displeasure. Her attention turned to the broken woman before her.

“You tried, and failed, to recreate her experiments.” Gamemnae began sharply. “But you could have been useful; at least the results of your failure would have caused worldwide catastrophe. Humans would have killed each other in their insanity, and we wouldn’t have had to lift a finger. But you overstepped, and now your daughter has destroyed all we sought to build. Clearly, no one in your family can be trusted. Here, traitors are punished.”

“No,” stammered Lillian. “I killed my son for my place. I would have killed by daughter too, if Supergirl hadn’t shown up. There is nothing, _no one_ I value more than Leviathan.”

“Leviathan no longer values you.” Gamemnae responded curtly. “We do not suffer failure. You have lost your place here, and as punishment you will face the effects of your own creation.”

“No, wait— “

Gamemnae’s eyes glowed green. After a moment, Lillian’s eyes became slack and unfocused. Nervous fingers pulled at her hair as she collapsed to her knees on the ground. She became to mumble, eyes widening as her mind streamed unseen horrors, phantom remembrances of a lost world.

“I wonder what you would remember from this ‘old earth’ you spoke of,” Gamemnae said, voice hushed. She crouched beside the woman, and gently caressed her cheek. “I suppose you’ll never be coherent enough to tell us.”

She stood, glancing at her assistant as she made for the exit. “Dump her wherever you like. Let her insanity keep her company.”


	15. Debrief

The flight back into National City exhibited none of the urgency that marked the outward journey. Kara was anxious to keep the trip as smooth as possible, slowing her speed to limit the effect of a discomforting windchill on her passenger. The closer they came to the Tower, however, the slower she flew, hesitant to expose Lena to further interrogation after what she’d just endured. Still, Alex had been waiting for an update for long enough; any longer and Kara had no doubt the worry would bring out her sister’s least redeeming qualities. She may be the “Girl of Steel” – but Alex Danvers was a forbidding woman when she chose to be.

Shifting Lena’s weight slightly, she nudged the comm in her ear with a shrugged shoulder. “Alex, it’s me,” Kara said, angling her head so that her words weren’t whipped away by the wind. Her sister’s concerned voice responded almost immediately.

“Supergirl? Did you—”

“I have Lena,” said Kara, answering the question that hadn’t yet been asked. “She’s ok. We’re en route to the Tower.”

“What happened? “

“I’ll tell you when we get there, but everything’s fine,” she replied, shaking off further questions. “We won’t be long.”

Hints of relief mingled with skepticism in Alex’s grudging acknowledgement, and – after a repeated promise to return quickly – Kara cut the feed with another jab from her shoulder and looked down to the woman in her arms.

Lena’s face was nestled into the crest of her suit, her eyes shut tight against the altitude. Smooth flight or not, Lena clearly didn’t have an affinity for heights. Strands of black hair flickered across her scrunched face, and Kara resisted to urge to reach a hand to tuck them back. Dark wisps fluttered over a tense forehead, sticking to strong eyebrows, catching on red lips, sliding over a clenched jaw…She swerved quickly as a radio spire materialized before her, and Lena instantly tightened her hold around Kara’s neck.

“Sorry,” Kara apologized quietly, securely tightening her own grip in response and refocusing on the air ahead; she resolutely stared forward until J’onn’s building came into view. A cursory scan showed a lone figure through the walls; Alex carved an agitated path through the room. There was no sign of Nia, Brainy must still be at the DEO, and J’onn must have been called away for a case. She was grateful; after that day, the last thing Lena needed was a complicated debrief.

“We’re here,” Kara murmured softly as she slowed to a hover near the concealed balcony entrance. She gently lowered them both down, waiting until her own feet dusted the concrete before carefully releasing Lena’s legs. She held her arms out for support as Lena flicked open her eyes and blinked rapidly to adjust to the light. Alex was upon them instantly.

Kara braced for impact, but Alex didn’t even seem to notice, instead stopping before Lena and pulling her into a rough hug. Lena soon let her initial surprise dissipate and softened into the gesture, returning it with a slight squeeze.

“I’m glad you’re safe,” said Alex, stepping back. “You had us worried for a minute there.”

“You and me both,” replied Lena with a grimace. “Thanks for finding me.”

“Speaking of, is Nia ok?” Kara asked Alex. “I was a bit of an ass earlier.”

“A bit?” Alex raised an eyebrow, and Kara reddened with embarrassment at the recollection. “But she’s fine,” Alex replied with a wave of her hand. “I sent her home – trying to dream so much really took it out of her. She definitely needs some sleep of the regular variety.” She turned and led them away from the balcony and towards the table and stools in the center of the room. “And J’onn had a case, so he left when you gave the all clear,” she said, confirming Kara’s earlier guess. “Now,” Alex said, as she dragged a stool into position and sat heavily. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“Lena stopped them,” Kara beamed, looking over at Lena who had followed and was taking her own seat.

Alex’s brows puckered in confusion. “Stopped…Could you perhaps rewind a couple of steps? Maybe provide some details?”

“Oh. Right. I suppose I don’t really know the specifics,” Kara conceded. “I did more of the ground smashing, bullet-stopping, cape-swooshing work.” She punctuated each action with an elaborate hand gesture displaying exactly how the said heroics had occurred.

“Well then,” Alex said with a hint of an eye roll, “perhaps you’ll stop explaining your theatrics for long enough for Lena to get a word in?” Kara clamped her lips shut, chagrined, and Alex turned to Lena. “Where’s Lex?” she asked. “I thought he’d be with you.”

Lena stilled; her eyes suddenly fixed on some spot on the table.

“Lena? Are you –” Kara began, concerned.

“Lillian…”

“Lillian? Lillian was there?” Alex asked.

“Lillian…She was working for them. Leviathan, that is. She was working for Leviathan.” Lena was fidgeting with her hands. Kara itched to still them with her own. “Apparently, Lex had told her about his plans to double-cross them.” She looked almost guilty. “To double-cross…me.” Lena looked into Kara’s eyes, staring with eyes overflowing with a complicated mixture of resolve, sorrow, and shame. “She had him killed right as we arrived.”

Alex hissed a sharp intake of breath. “Lillian had him…Lex is dead?” she asked, stunned.

Kara was speechless. Lex was an unpredictable factor, and it had never been fully clear what his endgame was in this new universe – he’d certainly not made anything any easier with his own personal adjustments. Still, he had been a more familiar enemy than Leviathan. She finally joined the other two in a seat, the force of her landing causing the stool joints to squeak their protest. Beyond the tactical disadvantage, her heart ached for Lena. Why did she always have to bear the brunt of the pain caused by her family?

“Yes. He is. Again,” said Lena. It was almost as if the raising of Lena’s protective walls was a tangible act, brick by defensive brick establishing themselves before their eyes. Kara leaned over, giving a supportive squeeze to Lena’s hands.

“Lillian wanted me to work on interfacing Non Nocere with technology derived from the Obsidian lenses interfaces,” Lena elaborated, finally secure and fluent behind her barriers. “One of the Leviathan leaders has an…affinity, with technology. They wanted to propagate project Non Nocere through the lenses, but that setup allowed any changes – or any issues – to be replicated instantly and exponentially through the system,” she explained. “An overload in a single node would take down the whole system. I believe that’s when everything caught on fire and you arrived right on time.”

“That’s…” said Alex, eyes widening. “… _genius_.”

“Well Alex, she is – _certifiably_ – a genius,” said Kara, smiling at Lena with pride. “That was never in doubt.”

“So,” said Alex, searching for clarification. “You stopped Leviathan?”

“I don’t think I stopped them,” said Lena. "They just won’t be using the VR any time soon.”

“That’s good enough for me,” Alex said. “No VR means breathing room for us. Plus,” she continued, “if they had another imminent world conquering plan, they probably would have used it rather than waiting for a corporate launch date.” Alex stopped and smiled at Lena. “You did amazing.”

“They might have had a setback,” said Lena, “but they’ll be back. And soon.”

“We have time,” Kara said, nodding resolutely. “Alex, you’re next in command at the DEO. Give Brainy an update and get a team ready. You need to that bunker before Leviathan can clear all the evidence – maybe we can find something to put them down permanently.”

“I can help,” Lena interjected. “I’ve been there. I could be useful.”

“No, no way,” responded Alex with a commanding wave of her hand. “You’ve done quite enough for one day.” Alex leaned over to squeeze Lena’s free hand – Kara had forgotten to release the other. “Let Kara take you home, ok? Get some rest.” Alex grabbed the tablet that had been abandoned on the table before they’d arrived and started aggressively tapping on the device as she stood. “I’ll deal with this. I’m instructing Brainy to gather a team, and I’ll have J’onn come as backup,” she said, eyes focused on the display.

“But—” Lena started.

“That’s an order, Lena,” said Alex, looking up from the screen, sympathetic understanding etched into the lines on her face. “You may own the DEO, but I have operational seniority. Please,” she said softly. “Get some rest.”

Lena looked as if to argue but thought better about it. She instead glanced at Kara apprehensively. “Flying again?”

“It _is_ the quickest way”, Kara replied apologetically. “We’ll be there before you know it.”

***

The flight to Lena’s apartment was as quick as promised. The balcony door was still unlocked, much to Kara’s disapproval, but she kept quiet as she followed Lena into her apartment. The late evening light filtered weakly through the windows, but it did little to make the dim space feel less cold and unfriendly; the sterile white surfaces that epitomized modern décor gleamed back with an impersonal shine. The room was a strict collection of hard edges devoid of anything even faintly resembling comfort; an outward manifestation of the tight control that Lena so often retreated behind. Noticing Lena hovered just inside the doorway, Kara couldn’t help but think that perhaps she was arriving at the same conclusion.

 _Nuh uh. Not this time,_ Kara thought. Lena had just lost her mother and brother all over again, and while she couldn’t imagine the complicated feelings that surely warred within Lena’s hesitant frame, she could at least make sure that Lena wouldn’t have to feel them alone.

“You know,” Kara suggested, “it might not be safe to be on your own tonight. Until we can confirm Leviathan aren’t an imminent threat, that is,” she added hurriedly. Best to come from a safety perspective, she thought. Pity would probably be a non-starter. “Maybe you could stay at my place tonight?” she asked. “That way I’ll be able to keep an eye on you, and if we hear anything then we’re both in the same place.” She tried not to be so insistent as to be obvious, but subtlety wasn’t always her forte.

“I don’t know.” Lena hesitated, but the look in her eyes belied her reluctance to be left alone.

“Oh, come on!” insisted Kara. “It’ll be fun! We could put on a movie, order in. It’ll be like a slumber party.” She was smiling her best infectious grin, but Lena still wavered. “Honestly,” continued Kara, “I could do with the company. It’s been a whole week, and Alex is going to be busy all night, so…” She furrowed her face cajolingly. “Please?”

Lena swept her gaze across her apartment, passing over the cold room and returning to the warm and gently pleading face before her.

“Ok,” she finally answered with a tilt of her head. “But I’m calling my driver. I’m _done_ flying for today.”

“Fair enough,” Kara laughed, raising both hands in defeat. “I’ll have to go ‘Kara-up’ and come back – I can’t leave a building I didn’t _technically_ enter.” She headed towards the balcony, turning around just as she stepped outside. “I’ll see you in the lobby in a few?”

Lena responded in the affirmative, and Kara strode purposefully towards the railing, cape fluttering gently around her. She hopped up onto the bar with ease and turned around waving. “See you soon!” she said, before stepping purposefully backwards and dropping out of sight.

***

Lena watched her leave, amused – _when did she get such a flair for the dramatic?_ – but in the sudden silence, the weight of the past 24-hours became oppressive, suffocating, and the thoughts she’d had no time to think threatened to flood in and overwhelm her in an instant. She felt herself drawn to her bookcase, where she slid a small box from the bottom shelf and set the lid aside. Within it were an odd assortment of papers, photographs, and trinkets; beneath those, a small, wrinkled journal. She picked it up, caressing the rough cover with trembling fingers before allowing it to fall open on her palm. Tucked into one of the forgotten pages was a faded Polaroid; a small girl in a clean-pressed uniform smiled back at her, with a dark-haired teenager kneeling seriously by her side. Her knuckles whitened on the photograph as she picked it up, creasing the off-white frame with the force of her grip.

She had no words for the confusing depths of sorrow, regret, and relief that washed over her. She had no tears left to cry for the brother she knew, and, after a few moments alone with the turmoil of her thoughts, she shoved photo and journal both into the box of memories, returned it to the spot on the shelf, and left without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been a wee while...since the last chapter, I wrote and defended my thesis, graduated, and found that I forgot how to write for fun. Stacked with uncertainty about the story direction, it took a while to get through this chapter! I have a plan now, though, and hopefully it's smoother sailing from here! (Hope you enjoy it)


	16. Two Weeks Later

Kara sat forward in her chair in the DEO conference room, her foot absently bouncing spiderweb cracks into the floor. Alex sat directly across from her; her strong posture was incongruous with the deep shadows beneath her eyes. She had faced a difficult two weeks since assuming operational command of the DEO. Though the sweep of the Leviathan facility was rapidly organized and executed, there had been frustratingly little to find. Large areas had been completely cleared, and much of what remained was scorched, waterlogged, or completely inconsequential. What had been left behind was a message: _You can’t win_ , it said. _You can find nothing on us we don’t want you to find, and anyone who gets in our way will suffer the consequences._ It was written into the blood-soaked floor beneath the body of Lex Luthor, accompanied by the incomprehensible ravings of his mother.

It was surprising, then, that Brainy had called this meeting suggesting he had found a lead. If anyone could piece together a pattern from such incomplete data, however, it would be Brainy – he was, as he so frequently reminded them, a _twelfth-_ level intellect.

“We found nothing forensically on an initial sweep of the facility to give any indication as to the location or intentions of Leviathan,” he said. “However, we found something quite interesting when we conducted a more thorough chemical diagnostic of the facility.” He swiped two extremely similar heat maps of National City onto the viewscreen with a dramatic flourish.

“Brainy,” said Alex, blinking slowly. “Those look exactly the same.”

“A-ha!” He zoomed in to the area where Lena had been held. “ _Similar_ – not the same.” The area of the map indicated was indeed a _slightly_ deeper shade of red than the surrounding areas. “This scan detects levels of cosmic radiation – anything not of terrestrial origin. We would expect the levels of cosmic radiation to be near identical between two geographic points so close together, _however_ , the facility has a higher concentration of the radiation than the neighboring areas.”

“So, what,” Kara said, brows furrowed. “Something in that facility was attracting extraterrestrial cosmic radiation?”

“An interesting hypothesis, Supergirl, but no, I believe not. After further study, I noticed a component of the radiation did not behave as it should.” Brainy swiped up a new map, again focused on the facility, this time with a darker shade of blue an island in a lighter blue ocean.

“After I borrowed a satellite for additional examination—” Alex raised a disapproving eyebrow, which Brainy studiously ignored, “—I noticed something most intriguing.”

He squeezed his fingers together on the screen and the latest map zoomed all the way out to a global perspective. The blue faded out in a gentle gradient centered on North America.

“The radiation dispersion appears to have a terrestrial origin point, and _yet_ it was confirmed to be extraterrestrial in nature.”

He swiped a final map onto the screen.

“These are manual readings from National City. Readings are consistently higher wherever there have been confirmed Leviathan sightings.”

The room was silent for a moment as the two sisters attempted to process the revelation. Kara felt hope bubble up in her chest as Alex spoke first.

“So, this radiation is related to Leviathan somehow?”

“Just so!” said Brainy with a flourish. “If we can determine the purpose of this radiation, and more importantly, the _source_ , we might be one step ahead of them.”

“So, find the source, stop Leviathan?” Kara asked.

“While it is easier said than done, I do believe you are correct,” Brainy said.

“They still have us overpowered,” Alex said, straightening slightly with purpose. “Finding them does nothing if we can’t stop them when we do.”

The stark truth of the statement settled over them. Leviathan’s unusual powers were exceedingly strong, and they had yet to discover if those powers had a limit. They weren’t even sure how many of them there were to fight, or how deep the roots of the organization went.

“Maybe Lena could help?” said Kara. “Between Kryptonite and Harun-El, she has more experience than anyone on earth with extraterrestrial radiation. Maybe she could help figure out exactly what it is and whether we can use it against them.”

Brainy nodded assent. “Just so. I will begin work on a tracking mechanism,” he said, finally sitting, “but we may be some time waiting for results. Supergirl, I trust you to enlist the assistance of Ms. Luthor in investigating the effects of this radiation.”

Kara looked to her sister for approval, and Alex nodded briskly. “Go. The quicker Lena and Brainy can get started, the quicker we can finish this. Good work putting that twelfth-level intellect to work, Agent Dox,” she said with a grin.

“Thank you, Director Danvers.” He _almost_ managed not to sound smug.

A swift rush of wind indicated that Kara had already left.

***

Lena sat hunched over her desk; her eyes blurred from one too many days turned nights in the office. She glanced over at the small television screen embedded into her office wall and saw herself, pale skin starkly contrasting her all-black ensemble. It had been almost two weeks since Lex’s body had been recovered following the DEO raid of the Leviathan facility, but less than 24 hours since the hero’s funeral awarded to her brother.

Two _long_ weeks, and an _even longer_ 24 hours.

Her part as dutiful sister had been played well, despite the sick feeling that bubbled in her stomach at the unearned deification of her brother. She had been mournful but collected. Heartbroken, but determined. A fine line walked to appease her board of directors, who – despite her legal assumption of control – seemed set on challenging her competency to lead. They cited the nature of her “very recent great and personal tragedy”, of course, as if their ham-fisted grasp at power wasn’t obvious. Trying to re-route Luthor Corp once had been bad enough – doing it again was _infuriating_. And time-consuming.

Supergirl and the others had been busy chasing leads on Leviathan, but Lena had spent most of her time confined to the executive floor in the Luthor building. Time that might be better spent repairing some of the bridges she’d previously blown up, if only she had the time to leave her _damn_ office.

It was just another thing to fix. She could add it to the to-do list.

Her solemn face had vanished from the television to be replaced by a newscaster; a small photo of Lex was pinned to the top right of the screen.

“It is _thought_ to be the work of previously unknown domestic terrorist organization operating out of our own National City –”

A brief knock at the door drew Lena’s attention, as her interim secretary gently cracked the door open and peeked his head through. He was, in truth, a DEO agent enlisted for her security while the vetting was ongoing for appropriate replacement candidates. Given his efficiency and reliability, it was a shame he couldn’t be tempted into a career change.

“Kara Danvers to see you, Ms. Luthor.”

Lena started. She reached up to smooth her hair, although not a single wisp was out of place.

“Show her in, please.”

Lena adjusted her suit jacket, tugging at the slight creases caused by too much time hunched over a desk. She quickly dropped her hands as a familiar face bounced through the door, a small bag slung over her shoulder. She was holding a cup of what looked suspiciously like coffee.

“Kara, come in! You’re looking…healthy?” Kara’s appearances in public had been limited since the shooting; the incident had been broadcast so widely that to have recovered quickly would have aroused suspicion. Coincidentally, Supergirl sightings around town had multiplied over the past weeks – solitary confinement definitely doesn’t suit the girl of steel.

“I am!” replied Kara. “Doctor says I can be up and about as long as I take it easy, so I thought I’d stop by and see how my favorite CEO was doing. And I brought coffee,” she said, indicating the cup in her hands.

Lena’s eyes flicked back to her computer monitor and the pile of work that was as of yet unfinished. Kara noticed and frowned.

“When was the last time you left your desk?” Kara asked, eyes narrowing. At Lena’s lack of response, she shook her head in disappointment. “Nuh-uh,” she said. “At least come over here – if you were supposed to sit behind a desk all day, you’d have been born a chair.” She turned away from the desk and towards the couch, upon which she dramatically collapsed, tossing her bag to the floor by her feet. Kara patted the seat beside her and waved the coffee suggestively. “There’s caffeine in it for you.”

“Not a chair,” said Lena laughing, standing to follow Kara’s request. She took the proffered coffee as she sat, eyes gently closing as the bitter aroma washed around her. They opened again as her eyebrows rose in thought. “A doormat, perhaps, given how insistent my board is in trying to walk all over me.”

Kara grimaced, her kind face radiating sympathy. “I’m sorry, Lena,” she said, resting a hand gently on Lena’s shoulder. Lena could feel slight pressure where each fingertip made contact with her jacket, and she was acutely aware of how much control such a simple action must take. It must be exhausting, living in a world where everything was like glass to the touch. “I know where all the best container ships are if you need me to teach any of them a lesson.”

Lena smiled a wry smile. “Unfortunately, I don’t think abduction will work in this case. It will smooth over; it’s just _maddening_ to do it all over again. It feels like nothing’s changed.”

“Of course it has – this time, you have me. You have all of us.”

How could she be so damn _earnest_ all the time?

“You’re right. It’s nice to not have to go through it alone.” Lena lowered her lips to the coffee, which had cooled just enough to be drinkable. “Thanks for coming over.”

“Well,” Kara said, “I do have to confess, I had wider agenda in coming here. Two agendas, really. But after seeing how you’re treating yourself, the first one became _crucial_. You _have_ to come with us to Karaoke night tonight.”

Lena blinked slowly. While people often had an agenda regarding her, and while that agenda might occasionally involve her public embarrassment, the experience wasn’t typically voluntary.

“Karaoke.”

“Yes! Karaoke. Karaoke night. With me. Us. Alex and Kelly will be there, and Nia, and hopefully Brainy too. We all need a little break right now, and from the looks of it you do too.”

“Karaoke isn’t really my thing. I spend most of my time trying to stay out of the spotlight.”

“You don’t even have to sing,” Kara said quickly, waving her hands in a placating gesture. Purely socialization. No spotlight.”

Lena wasn’t convinced. “I don’t know…”

“Please?”

Well, that did it. Lena rolled her eyes.

“Fine. I’ll come. But nothing you can do will get me up on that stage.”

Kara grinned and waved a hand in a movement that might have vaguely resembled a scout’s sign. “Hero’s honor.”

Lena sighed in resignation. “Fine then. You said there were two agendas?”

“Right,” said Kara, sobering up and reaching to grab a small tablet from the bag at her feet. “We have a lead on Leviathan.”

Once again, Lena was caught momentarily speechless.

“Perhaps you should have _led_ with that?”

“In my defense, you looked like you _urgently_ needed a break,” Kara explained. “I had to make sure you agreed to one before throwing more on your plate.” Her fingers swiped at the tablet for a few seconds before she handed the device over to Lena.

“Brainy found that there was some unusual radiation at the Leviathan facility, as well as other locations where organization members have been spotted. He insists it’s alien, yet the source is here on earth.” She reached over to swipe to the map Brainy had shown them earlier. “I was hoping you might have some insight, given your experience with Kryptonite and the Harun-El. There’s no one on earth more qualified to help.”

Lena was silent as she scrutinized the data, swiping and scrolling. She paused, tablet held in a loose grip in both hands. Her brain whirred into overdrive as she mentally processed the implications.

“It’s fascinating. I haven’t seen anything quite like it. I agree with Brainy that it definitely isn’t terrestrial in origin.” She nodded, almost to herself, deciding. “I’ll set up analysis in the lab. It shouldn’t take much to tweak the Harun-El program to examine these new radioactive properties.”

Lena stood, tablet in hands but coffee forgotten, and wandered to her desk. She sat and began typing, keys clicked by fingers that were fighting to let the brain be heard.

“Perhaps if I…No, that won’t work. I’d need to account for the lack of the radioactive source material…”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Kara said, amused at Lena’s instant distraction. “Don’t forget, Karaoke night. 8 pm.”

“Yes, karaoke. Tonight.” Lena briefly looked up to wave, but one hand maintained its rhythm on the keyboard. “I will see you then.”

Lena turned her focus back to the computer screen, and Kara quietly let herself out, proud, and secure in the knowledge that if anyone could find the key to taking Leviathan down, it would be Lena.

***

“Are you sure this is it, Ms. Luthor?” Her chauffeur was concerned, and rightly so in Lena’s opinion. The address Kara had texted her led to a nondescript industrial building that didn’t look at all inviting. She frowned and double-checked the address on her phone. This was it.

“Maybe there’s a different entrance?” she replied, hesitant.

She jolted as a nearby door crashed open, and the gloom was filled with the friendlier sounds of music and laughter. Light spilled from the doorway, backlighting the figure that had burst through.

“Lena!” the figure yelled, waving enthusiastically. “It’s about time!”

She released a breath. It was just Kara, and although the first impression left a lot to be desired, the welcoming atmosphere pouring out from the inside called to her.

“Never mind, this is the place,” said Lena, already reaching over to open the door. Her driver hurriedly jumped from his seat and rushed around the car, catching the door just as she found both her feet on the concrete. “You can take the rest of the night off.”

“Ms. Luthor?”

“It’s quite alright – I’ll be with friends.” She smiled at him assuredly, until he nodded and returned to his seat. As soon as the engine rumbled back into motion, Lena walked towards Kara – who, on closer inspection, was surreptitiously, and quite unsuccessfully, attempting to smooth a dent from the inside of the door she had barged open.

“Lena!” As soon as she got close enough Kara pulled her into a rough hug that knocked the breath out of her lungs. “I heard you get here. I’m so glad you came!” Kara released the hug, and Lena tried to mask the sudden intake of breath required to fill her lungs back to capacity. Kara grabbed her by the hand and tugged her towards the warmth.

“Come in, come in!”

A woman, face covered in a series of complex tattoos, was currently giving a rousing – if tuneless – pop rendition which had a number of the more intoxicated patrons cheering her on in approval. Lena spotted Alex, Kelly, and Nia at a table on the far side of the room and stuck tightly to Kara as they weaved through patrons. Apparently, karaoke night was extremely popular at this bar. Alex spotted them coming, and hastily uncovered two chairs that had been reserved with a collection of coats and bags. Kara released her hand as they cleared the crowd, and Lena couldn’t help but feel a little exposed without the comforting pressure. She needn’t have worried, however, as she was met with warm greetings as soon as arrived. Next to her, Kara sat heavily, the chair groaning beneath her deceptive frame. She took her own seat with a little more grace.

“Hey, Lena,” said Alex, smiling. “Glad you could come.”

“Me too. Could Brainy not make it?”

“He’s keeping track of the situation in Ops,” replied Nia. “Apparently, Karaoke is only stimulating up to the _eleventh-_ level intellect, so he volunteered to stay behind.”

“Ah. I was hoping to talk to him about some of the coefficients used in the simulations. They’re running now but I want to be sure if—”

“No!” Kara interrupted. “No work talk!”

“But—”

“No buts! Is there anything you can do until it’s done?”

“Well, no, but—”

_“Then_ , there’s nothing to do but wait. So just have a drink!” Kara pushed her own cup towards Lena, which sloshed over the table mid-journey.

“Let’s not,” said Alex, grimacing slightly as she reached over to move the glass with two pincered fingers. “This will fry your insides.” She tossed some napkins over the puddle on the tabletop, which had started faintly bubbling.

Kara jumped out of her seat.

“Oh no!”

Alex’s hand went quickly to the small of her back; Nia sat up straighter, her arms hovering slightly to her sides. Lena flicked her head around in search of the threat.

“ _I_ was going to do this song”, she said, distraught, completely oblivious that the whole group was suddenly on edge. Someone had replaced the previous singer on stage and the starting notes of their song choice were just beginning to play. “I _have_ to go change it.”

She dashed away as everyone settled back to their seats with resigned good humor. Alex rolled her eyes. At the far side of the room, Lena saw that Kara was already in earnest conversation with the DJ. She pointed to the stage, then rapidly tapped the songbook.

Alex sighed, then reclined in her seat, taking a sip from her glass. “Always so dramatic about Karaoke.”

Lena raised one eyebrow in confusion.

“Is she…drunk? I didn’t think she _could_ get drunk.”

“I wouldn’t say _drunk_ , per se, more…”

“Merry?” suggested Nia.

“Merry,” Alex said with a nod of agreement. “She is _very_ merry.”

“What if there was…an emergency?”

“Don’t worry.” Alex patted her hip. A small, syringe-like device peeked out from underneath her jacket. “I’m D.D. tonight. Designated Detoxifier. A quick spray and she’ll be completely sober.”

“That’s convenient.”

“It would have been more convenient the first time.”

Lena raised a quizzical eyebrow, but Alex just took another drink and became immediately fascinating by the peeling paint on the wall beside them.

“I’m just surprised alcohol has any effect at all.”

“It doesn’t. Earth alcohol, at least. That _particular_ beverage is from a small planet a few solar systems away. It’s _very_ effective.”

“A few…” Lena looked around. She spotted the woman who’d been singing when she’d arrived. The complex facial markings she’d originally thought to be tattoos were actually gradations of skin tone; upon further inspection, a number of occupants sported inhuman features – a man in the corner was even a shade of bright bubblegum pink. Lena wondered how she’d missed the signs on the way in.

Her heart sank.

“This is an alien bar.”

“National City’s finest.”

“I don’t think I should be here.”

“Why not?”

“Luthors and aliens don’t exactly have the best relationship.”

Alex had the cheek to actually _laugh_ at that.

“In this universe they do. Sponsor of the city’s favorite alien, remember? What Lex did, for better or worse—”

Nia audibly gagged. “ _Worse._ ”

“—the Luthor name is completely clear here. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Lena was saved from responding by Kara bouncing back over, beaming. She hopped into her chair, all signs of her previous distress wiped clear.

“Crisis averted! I have the _best_ song coming up.” She reached over the table to collect her drink and took a large gulp. “What are we talking about?”

“The rocket fuel you call beer.” Alex stood, bottle in hand, draining the dregs before she turned to Lena. “Speaking of which—drink?”

“Please!”

As Alex headed towards the bar, Kara gave Lena’s arm a quick squeeze.

“I’m glad you made it tonight.”

“Me too.”

The next couple of hours were two of the most liberating that Lena could remember. She felt warmed, by the alcohol, by the company. Particularly by the company. Nia’s ferociously entertaining anecdotes had her in stitches, and the Danvers sister banter was a sight to behold. It almost culminated in a dramatic pool showdown, but after a misplaced ball ended up stuck in brick rather than the pocket, Kara was forced to tap out for everyone else’s safety. Alex also stepped aside so the game could be finished by the substitutes, but it wasn’t much of a contest; Kelly thrashed Lena in a resounding victory. Although Lena played miserably, she was heartened by Kara’s enthusiastic cheering from the sidelines and the eventual kind commiserations. Afterward, Alex took a turn at karaoke; she had a surprisingly beautiful voice. She’d picked a ballad, and Kelly, usually the voice of dignity and reason, was reduced to blushes and giggles by the attention directed to her during the performance.

When it was Kara’s turn to sing, Lena thought her heart might stop.

If Alex’s voice was beautiful, Kara’s was magic.

When she was singing, Kara exposed a softness that Lena hadn’t seen before. Her voice caught the cadence of the music and elevated it, capturing such soul in the lyrics that the gentle piano accompaniment – so soft to begin with – almost faded into the background entirely.

When Kara caught her eyes, it was almost as if she was singing directly to her.

Which was a _ridiculous_ thought.

Kara stumbled over the words and flicked her glance away towards the lyric screen, blushing slightly.

A slight buzzing to her right registered as conversation that she hadn’t heard. Lena leaned towards Alex, but her eyes stayed transfixed on the performance.

“Hmm?”

“I said, you’re both idiots.”

Kara concluded singing to thunderous applause, but she seemed a little disappointed when she got back to the table.

“Sorry. I don’t usually mess the words up.”

“I thought it was beautiful. I didn’t know you could sing like that.”

Kara perked up immediately. And blushed. Again.

“I think I need some air, though.”

She _was_ looking a little flushed. Apparently, a physiological similarity between Kryptonians and humans following over-consumption of alcohol.

“I’ll come with you.” Lena stood to join.

“It’s fine, I can take care of myself,” Kara said, leaning on the back of the chair in emphasis. Flakes of wood drifted to the floor as the chair back crunched under the grip. How she’d enunciated so well when singing was a marvel.

“It’s not you that I’m concerned for.”

“Point.”

The air outside was crisp, not quite cold, but enough to begin clearing Lena’s head. Kara leaned against the wall and slid to a seat, leaving a faint sandpaper track in the brick behind her.

“Come sit with me. Wait,” she took her jacket off with considerable difficulty, and extravagantly laid it on the ground beside her, patting the spot. “There. Those clothes could probably buy my apartment building.”

“Not quite,” Lena said, taking the offered seat. She was sat almost flush to Kara’s side. “Perhaps if we included the shoes.”

“Can’t forget the shoes.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Kara was extremely warm beside her. Lena felt inhumanly strong shoulders pressed into her own through fabric. Felt where the back of Kara’s hand grazed the top of her thigh where Kara had lazily dropped it. Felt her heart catch as slight shifts changed the points of contact in a way that was simultaneously overwhelming and not enough.

“Lena?”

She turned. Kara’s head was leaned against the wall, neck twisted so they were face to face, only inches away. Lena saw condensation speck the edges of Kara’s glasses, the war between the cool of the night and the warmth of her body fought on the lenses. Behind them, eyes looked piercingly into her own.

They were so intensely blue.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

Kara’s eyes flicked slightly downwards before flashing back to her eyes again.

“I was so scared to lose you.”

Kara’s tongue licked chapped lips. Lena’s heart was loud in her ears.

“I don’t ever want to lose you.”

The alley didn’t feel cool anymore. There was only warmth, from the closeness, from the rapid beating in her chest.

“I was so scared too before, and I didn’t know why. But I think I do now.”

Gently, inevitably, Kara leaned in and pressed her lips to Lena’s.

Lena closed her eyes.

Everything became clear to her in a single electrifying instant.

Feelings she hadn’t let herself feel; she hadn’t trusted their authenticity. Feelings locked away by the fear of what would happen if they weren’t reciprocated. Fear of what could happen if they were. Fear that shoved feelings so far down they couldn’t be acknowledged until they bubbled up to the surface in overwhelming and instantaneous clarity.

The world felt smaller as Kara slowly pulled away. Lena couldn’t tame the tumult in her head into words and just sat dumbstruck as Kara’s eyes explored her face, growing concerned.

Lena cracked her lips to speak when the door slammed open, Alex and Nia striding out. A look that was almost both surprised and apologetic flashed across Alex’s face as she approached, unhooking the detox device from her hip.

“Kelly is settling up. We have to go – Brainy thinks he has a lead on the location, and we need eyes on them ASAP.”

She reached down to pull her sister to her feet before spraying her with a fine mist. Kara sneezed, and her eyes immediately focused. Her lips parted slightly in shock, and she glanced back at Lena with an indecipherable expression.

“You’re welcome to come,” Alex said to Lena, holstering the device as Lena also climbed to her feet. “We could use your input.”

Lena shook her head. “No, you go. I’ll check on the simulation and let you know if there are any results yet.”

“Ok. I’ll keep you updated.”

After they left, Lena called a taxi to take her back to L-Corp.

She wished there was a spray that existed to clear her own head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot minute. Life, you know?
> 
> I kind of vibed with a blues number as Kara's song, if anyone's interested. "The Nearness of You", particularly the newer version by Norah Jones.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan-fiction, but 5B is being such a wind up that I wanted to fix it for myself at least! Let me know what you think!


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